Blog - Simplify Your Life and Follow Your Dreams

Saturday

04Jul

When is your Personal Independence Day?

Saturday, July 4, 2009 at 7:00 AM

Photo by Warren TalbotToday is the day we celebrate our country's independence. There will be fireworks, big meals, and parties all over the USA, and rightly so. Without the planning and action of our founding fathers, we would not have the freedoms we celebrate today.

Which brings me to today's subject: Personal Independence Day.

We talk a lot about lifestyle design on this blog, creating the life you want out of a series of small, deliberate steps to get to your big goal. How are you doing with that?

One thing that motivates us is having a date to look forward to. Ours is October 1, 2010, our date of departure on the big trip.

Until that date, we work very hard with countless small steps to make it happen:

Getting rid of the junk in our lives
Saving money in large and small ways to fund the trip
Learning about the world so we can travel better in it

Proclaiming a personal Independence Day, even one that is a year or more away, can be a powerful motivator in reaching your goals.

Whether you want to get a better job, go back to school, write a book, start a family, build a home, launch a business, or travel around the world like us, having a launch date with a series of small steps leading up to it will make your goal come alive every single day.

You hear people all the time say "I always wanted to do X, Y or Z but never got around to it." Or maybe "I wish I could have done X, but now that I have kids/spouse/job/responsibilities I won't be able to."

Those statements are heartbreaking. If you only have so many years on the earth, why wouldn't you make the most of them and pursue your passions? Chances are, if you love it you will be good at it.

So my challenge to you on this Independence Day is to set your own Personal Independence Day. You can even tell us in the comments so we can cheer you on. Even if your date is 5 or 10 years down the road, you can start doing something this week to move yourself along the path.

You will likely discover that daily action toward your goal makes it happen a lot faster than you think. After all, I'm taking my dream trip in 15 months, and I didn't think I'd be able to do it for another 27 years!

Happy Independence Day to all my readers in the US, and happy Personal Independence Day to you all in advance!

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Betsy Talbot writes about carving the lifestyle you want out of the life you already have. When she's not writing, she's paring down, saving up, and getting ready for a year of travel with her husband.

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Friday

03Jul

Living without cable

Friday, July 3, 2009 at 9:20 AM

It has been 2 weeks since we gave up cable for good. Regular readers may remember our TV-Free Tuesday post where we attempted to give it up one night per week to do more meaningful things, like learn Spanish and pursue hobbies.

Well, that didn't work out so well. We began changing the dates of TV-free Tuesday to coincide with nights we already had plans out, so we weren't really accomplishing anything. So we made the decision to go cold turkey (after the US Open, of course).

Since then I've been pleasantly surprised at how much time we spend together. Sure, we spent a lot of time together before, but together as in "in the same room," not actually interacting and talking.

I saw a post on Twitter that happy people watch less television, and a friend commented it is actually the reverse: watching less television actually makes people happier.

I'll keep you posted on our cable-free existence and how it impacts our life and our relationship. We likely won't have access to regular television on our big trip, and even when we do it will probably be in a language we don't speak (well), so this is a practical exercise for us as much as it is a quality-of-life experiment.

How much time do you spend watching television every week? Do you find it hard to accomplish all the things you need/want to do?

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Wednesday

01Jul

Was it good for you?

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 at 7:54 AM

Photo by nyki_m This is the final installment in the Sex and Intimacy series. We covered more ground than I thought we would in fewer posts. (You all know I tend to be long-winded.) To read all the posts, click here.

Stay tuned for our continuing adventures in:

living without television
getting in shape for the trip
working on creative pursuits we can continue on the road
checking off our local "bucket list" of things to do before we go
decluttering and getting rid of our possessions

Are you thinking about making some lifestyle changes? Want me to write about a specific topic for you?

Send me an email or leave a note in the comments. This blog is about the things we are learning as we get ready for our big trip, but a lot of the lessons are universal.

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Talking to your friends about sex

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 at 7:00 AM

Photo courtesy of freeparking

Editor's Note: This is part 8 in a 10-part series on Sex and Intimacy. Click here to read from the beginning.

Come on, we've all done it. You have a great night of sex and can't wait to tell your friends about it. Or the reverse - the sex is so bad you can't wait to tell your friends about it!

Usually this happens when we are single and it is safe to tell the story, but what happens when you need to vent about a sex or intimacy issue with your mate, the same guy you'll be bringing to your friend's summer BBQ? This is where things get sticky.

We all need reassurance that we are "normal" in that department and that other people have or are experiencing the same thing. Sometimes we need our friends to tell us when something is not right so we can fix it. Either way, good friends are an important gauge in many of life's experiences, and that includes sex and intimacy with your mate.

Now, I'm not a big fan of telling my circle of friends specific details about my sex life. But I do think it is important to have a sounding board about these issues with at least one good friend.

The last thing I want to do is betray the trust I have in my mate, but we both should have leeway to get support and guidance from friends. Sometimes a friend can clear up an issue for you in 5 minutes that would take hours, days, or weeks to clear up with your mate. And there's no leftover bad feeling from the conversation.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to talk about my sex life in an explicit way with my friends, and I don't want my husband doing that either. But I do think we both deserve a sounding board about sex and intimacy issues in general, and having a trusted confidante can give perspective to a sometimes lopsided view of a relationship.

Do you talk about sex or intimacy issues with your friends? Generally, or very specifically? Has it helped or hurt your relationship?

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Sunday

28Jun

Are you out of the closet?

Sunday, June 28, 2009 at 12:00 AM

Photo by *Micky Today is the Gay Pride parade and celebration in Seattle, and Mr. Betsy and I will be attending with some very good friends. I'm pretty sure my "opposite marriage" will remain secure as we celebrate life and love with good friends who currently don't have the same rights as we do. Not even the right to name a little ole blog "Married with Luggage."

But this isn't a political post (much).

This post is about all the ways we remain "in the closet" in our lives.

Working jobs we hate to please parents/spouse/friends
Letting excuses overrule our dreams
Staying with the wrong partner due to money/history/apathy

(I could go on, but since I've already done all 3 of those things I think I'll stop.)

You get the picture.

Living in the closet, whether it is to hide your sexuality or your life's passion, is a dark and cramped place (even if you followed along when we decluttered). There is no room to grow, and it is so dark you can't even see yourself.

I'm not a motivational speaker, but I do know how absolutely FREE I have felt since making the decision to sell everything and travel around the world. This is what I have always wanted to do, but "adult responsibility" has always held me back.

Hey, you may not want the same thing as me, but if you are anywhere near where I was a year ago, you are jonesing for a tiny little taste of that lifestyle you crave. And once you peek out the closet door, it is very hard to go back inside.

So my hope for you today is that you come out of the closet. And if you are already out of the closet, I hope you can be supportive to a friend or stranger who is not yet brave enough to open the door.

Because we all have the right to pursue our own happiness.

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