We’ve been taking about lifestyle design for some time now, but I’m not sure I’ve ever told you the whole story of how Married with Luggage got started. Interested?
(Make yourself comfortable. You may want to take a bathroom break now and freshen up your beverage.)
Once Upon a Time
We married in 2004 in Maryland and moved almost immediately to the Boston suburbs for my husband’s new job. I was doing pretty well with my job, so I got to take it with me and earned a promotion shortly after. We bought a big house in the ‘burbs, commuted in opposite directions, and traveled extensively for work and pleasure. We spent money like it was a contest we wanted to win. Landscaping, house remodel, big trips, expensive dinners, shopping for the heck of it most weekends.
Man, we were insane.
Don’t get me wrong. I like money. In fact, I love it. It buys me comfort, shelter, luxuries, and fun experiences with friends and family. But money isn’t everything, and that is the mindset we were developing.
It took a couple of years to figure out that work was moving us in two different directions and we were spending money to bridge the gap, which is not really what you want in a healthy marriage.
Getting Back to Basics
We decided to simplify and get back in touch with each other and the life we always said we really wanted. The first thing that had to go was the big house. And if you’re thinking about moving, why not think big?
We came up with a list of the things we wanted: a “walkable” lifestyle, little to no work travel, variety in dining options, and a progressive atmosphere. Then we made a list of cities where we could find those things as well as work for my husband (I was taking my job with me – a new position with less travel).
That’s how we landed in Seattle, living in a 1000 square foot townhouse in a funky little neighborhood with everything we want just minutes from the front door. We soon made friends and started living the kind of life that really made us happy.
Taking it up a Notch
That’s the trouble with reaching a goal – you always want to set a new one.
During a nice vacation in Barcelona, we talked about the difference between American and European lifestyles and how we didn’t appreciate the value of time off and work/life balance like the Spaniards did. Shortly afterward we decided to trade in my work schedule for a new consulting business (fyi, there is no work/life balance as a new entrepreneur).
We really cut back on our expenses so we could live on one income while the business was taking off. It was tough, but after a few months we had the hang of it.
The business grew in fits and starts, and my husband started making more money as well. After a couple of years, we were making almost the same money as before with fewer expenses and a much more enjoyable lifestyle.
Yes, we were happy. And we probably could have continued just as we were for another 30 years or so.
But What if We Don’t Have 30 More Years?
My younger brother had a freak heart attack in the midst of our lifestyle change. I will never forget seeing him in the ICU, younger than every other patient by at least 30 years. Or the second heart attack in the hospital that very nearly did him in. Or how deliriously happy I was when he was finally released a week later.
Then a good friend in her 30s suffered a brain injury and spent weeks in the hospital and months in therapy recovering. She is in that small number of patients who make an almost 100% recovery, but of course none of us knew that would be the outcome at the time.
Lesson: There are no guarantees in this life.
We were talking about the shortness of life and our dream lifestyle with some good friends at the end of the summer when we finally saw the obvious: There is nothing stopping us from living our dream lifestyle but ourselves (extra points for seeing the obvious through the lens of a margarita glass).
You Can’t Be Serious
Being the “in with both feet” kinda people we are, it didn’t take much for us to move from traveling around the world for a year to traveling around the world as a lifestyle. And if your lifestyle is travel, you don’t really need a house, a car, or many possessions. So we’re selling our house and 95% of the stuff in it, including the car in the garage. Of course most of it won’t go til closer to our trip, but we’ve started downsizing the non-essentials already.
We’re saving money like we did when we started the business, and as of today we are at 56% of our financial goal. It hasn’t always been easy, but the bigger that nest egg grows, the easier it is for me to pass up non-essentials.
Our revised lifestyle goal is to travel for 1-2 years at least, and if we haven’t found a way to make enough money to continue that (creating an online business, picking up writing gigs or distance consulting work), then we will come back and work for another few years so we can do it again. Essentially, we either travel as a lifestyle or set up our work life to allow for big chunks of travel and exploration.
Some of our friends and family have been surprised by our decision, but on the whole it has been pretty supportive. We’ve made a big effort over the last few years to bring positive people into our lives, and that really pays off when you make a big decision about your life.
What Does This Mean for You?
Your lifestyle goal is probably not the same as mine. But your goal does take planning, some level of sacrifice, definitely some money management, and the help of supportive people along the way. These are the things we talk about every week on this blog.
Are you living your dream? On the way? Still thinking about it? Let’s talk about it in the comments.
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About Betsy
It’s awesome to hear your full story! We have been talking back and forth, but I didn’t really know the background! If you ever find yourself in Australia you will have to shoot me a line! Best of luck!
Betsy, you and Warren are among the few who have a dream and go for it. Life IS short. This world is full of beauty, amazing people, and endless opportunities. I applaud your thoughtful, innovative strategies for making your dreams come true. I just know this journey is a door that will open to endless possibilities for you both. Thanks so much for sharing your story!
Dearest Betsy, I know your story already, but this post really allowed me to see even more into your vision and the reasons behind it. Plus, I am so honored and moved that my brain injury last fall helped move you along this amazing path you are on! I am convinced that many, many good things came out of that event, even though it was a scary one. Your passion has fueled my passion as well – and even though I’ve always lived my life going after my dreams, your story has encouraged me to go even farther to address those things I had put on the back burner (my book?!) Thanks for inspiring, connecting and most of all for teaching us all how to make our dreams a reality NOW and not to wait!
Maria, I’m so honored that you came to the blog and commented. You’ve been a big part of MWL – from the inspiration, to the name of the blog, to the tag line. I’m so thrilled to have you in my life and can’t wait to see what big things lie ahead for you (Oprah? NY Times Bestseller List?)
Hi Betsy: Just returned from 12 days in London and Glasgow, Sterling and Edinburgh, Scotland with my son. We met relatives for the first time and had a glorious time getting to know them and working on understanding their Glasgow dialect.I will be going back again. Visited 2 castles and could not get enough of our heritage.
We followed Rick Steves advice and did not check any bags even coming back with our purchases. Also, stayed in the Victoria section of London, again on his recommendation. Great location for almost everything including walking to some of the sights such as Westminster Abbey. Took the train from London to Glasgow.
Funny story on the train back to London. I was in the queue waiting for the loo (toilet) and a fellow came running up and said he had been down at the other end of the train waiting for 5 min and then found out the loo was broken. My turn came and I told him to go ahead because he was obviously in distress. For some reason I also said "I’m from the US." He went in and when he came out he said thank you and the raised his arm and said "God Bless America". Obviously, he was a happy man.
Some advice. I bought a $20.00 international phone card at Fred Meyer before I left and that proved to be a good purchase because we didn’t have to search for one when we got there. I exchanged a large amount of money at the airport exchange. Found out later they have the worst rate. Better to do a small amount if you have to and then find a bank for the rest of what you will need. Also, the tube in London does maintance on the lines on the weekends so some parts may be shut down. We got in on a Sat am and it took us 2 hours to get to our station. I thought we were in a vortex. Makes a good story. Also, not all the stops on the tube have a escalator or an elevator. It’s a long hike up steep stairs with a suitcase. Travel as light as you can.
Nancy Campbell
Nancy, I’m so glad you had a good trip! I know you’ve been looking forward to it for a long time. Traveling light is the best way to go for me, and when visiting a major city I depend on ATMs for money exchanges to get the best rate. In a smaller town or rural area it is best to get at least some money exchanged before you go because you may not be able to find an ATM easily and not every place will take a credit card. And a great tip on the international calling card!
Wow!!! What an amazing site and story! I will definatly come back here often
When you have the chance go here: http://www.heysluggagesets.blogspot.com/
Inspired… What if we do not have enough time. I am 45 and planning a 4 month trip with my family.
Have a fabulous time with your family, Guy. You won’t regret taking this time with your family to explore the world and get to know each other better. Time is more precious than money.
Nice fireside story. I especially like this bit:
“There is nothing stopping us from living our dream lifestyle but ourselves (extra points for seeing the obvious through the lens of a margarita glass)”.
I am rapidly coming to that conclusion myself, and it’s going to be a helluva ride.
Just curious on one point – why did you decide to sell your house, rather than rent it out?
Hi, Tony. We initially thought of renting it out, but the numbers didn’t really make sense for us. With our mortgage and HOA fees, we would lose money every month because we couldn’t rent it for that amount, especially if we hired someone to manage it for us. We knew if we sold in a down market we’d also lose money.
It really came down to ripping the bandaid off slowly or quickly, and we chose the quick method so we could eliminate the worry on our trip. The amount of money we lost over selling it was roughly the same as the amount we would have lost over renting it at a loss over time.