One would think that riding naked in a parade would be enough sharing for a year. However, I realized after Betsy wrote her post last week giving you a deeper insight into who she is that I have yet to provide you with a similar back-stage insight into Warren Talbot. Be warned, it is scary to see how my mind works but for you who are adventurous here is a view into my life and what guides my decisions and how I approach each new day:
- My father was killed by a drunk driver when I was 10 and he was 32. I have become who I am today because of this reality and it has shaped many of the decisions and attitudes I hold dear to this day. One of the strangest days in my life was the day I realized I was older than him at his death and that I would have an opportunity at experiences he never could realize. As a unintended consequence I discovered that my mother is the most amazing person I know for raising us while dealing with the loss of her spouse and partner. While I would never wish this upon anyone, the truth is that I would not change it either as the resulting relationship with my mother is something I deeply cherish.
- I live my life by the credo “live life with no regrets”. My theory is that there is nothing I can do to change the decisions I have made or the things that have happened around me, so the only thing I can control is how I will respond to it.
- While I am an atheist, I read constantly about different religions to understand their origins and belief systems. I believe that religion will be the ultimate downfall of society and that deeply troubles me. Logically I cannot understand why so many beliefs based on the same principles could create such strife and misery in the world, but each day I read more in hopes to discover the rationale.
- I love dogs…ok I love ALL animals. I am worried that when we get on the road my heart will be broken by all the dogs on the streets and I will constantly try to convince Betsy to let me take them all home.
- I love to debate virtually any issue. I find that in debate you have the opportunity to learn how other people think and to understand their perspective on an issue or life in general. It seems to me there is no better way to learn about an issue (or a person) than to dive into a healthy and honest debate.
- In my life I have never taken a vacation longer than 1 week. This seems rather odd when you consider we are about to embark on a 3+ year trip around the world. I often worry how I will handle this much down-time and my ability to adjust to a life OF vacation and not a life FOR vacation.
- I am a staunch supporter for gay marriage. While I am not gay myself I see absolutely no logical reason why we should not allow 2 consenting adults that love
each other to share the same rights that Betsy and I have available to us. I will debate this point with anyone, at any time, much to the chagrin of my wonderful wife. - My career is not who I am. Until 2 years ago I could never imagine uttering these 7 words. I have defined myself by my career for almost 20 years, but today I sit here comfortable with the idea of not letting my career say who I am. The challenge now becomes creating a new definition for myself, and that scares the shit out of me.
- The movie, book, and soundtrack of “Into the Wild” engrosses my interest to an almost manic level. I am mesmerized by the story of wanting a simpler life and the extremes to which some people will go to pursue their adventure. While I never expect to wander off into the wilderness, the story inspires me to want more from the life I have.
- I am jealous of people that can walk up to any stranger and break the ice without effort. The character Hank Moody on “Californication” has the attitude I aspire to for my life. Carefree and willing to think the best of people at all times, and I know I must push myself outside of my comfort zone to be better.
- I have a disproportionate sense of fairness and deplore people who feel they are entitled to better treatment or that the rules of society do not apply. My list of pet peeves (and there are many) all center here. Put your shirt on when you are driving, mowing, running, yoga etc. Do not use your cell phone in a restaurant. Respect pedestrians when you are driving. Ah, this is but a glimpse and I wish it did not bother me so much.
- I count myself lucky have found my perfect partner in life. I cannot imagine finding a more perfect person to spend my life. Every day I wake up next to her I smile and know it will be a good day. She makes me a better person just being with her.
- I always assume that the high point of my life is ahead of me. I have never been happier than I am at this point in my life, but fully expect to be happier tomorrow.
- I do not pine to be a different age than I am right now. I cannot recall ever wanting to go back to my 20′s or even remotely considered the idea of going back to high school appealing. I am 39, cannot change this, and frankly would not want to if I could.
- I am a great story teller, but as evidenced by the length of this post, I can get deeply engrossed in the narrative. I find that stories help me to be a better communicator as well as bring life to my experiences as I relay them to others.
- The Pacific Northwest is a gorgeous place to live and I will miss it while we are gone. Many people believe that I am running away from here but the truth is I simply want to experience more of what the world has to offer.
- I have signed a contract that forbids me from telling the story of how Betsy and I met. It is still my favorite story…
- I struggle to stay focused on any project and my mind rarely slows down.
- In my life I have used the snooze alarm less than 5 times. I realize this may seem blasphemous to many of you and I hope you still respect me. I am here today to announce to you all: “My name is Warren Talbot and I am a morning person”.
- For the first time in my life I cannot tell you where I plan to be or what I will be doing in 6 months. This idea both excites and terrifies me.
- I feel most alone in a crowd of people. While I am an incredibly social person, I will not walk up to strangers and start making conversation. However, once the ice is broken I could sit and chat for hours.
- In the last 4.5 years I have not driven to work and I would be happy to never drive a car again. I find that I am most stressed in my life when behind the wheel and thus can go weeks/months without driving. Public transportation is my friend.
- I do not know what I will DO when we return from the trip, and I have finally come to peace with this. My lack of concern is now freaking me out.
- I want this trip to help me become the person I aspire to be. I have created a list of things I want to get out of the trip (be more patient, more willing to let go, more spontaneous (ok, any spontaneity)) and will share more in an upcoming post.
The experiences that have shaped me are varied and accumulated over almost 40 years. Sitting down with a blank page and thinking about sharing who I am has been emotionally exhausting. Creating the list above (and a much longer list of things I did not include) caused me to confront the difference between the facts of my life versus why I am the man I am. The end result is that I am proud of who I have become and deeply grateful for all the experiences (good and bad) that molded me to this point.
What/who has shaped your life?
About Warren
I really enjoyed this post. One theme you bring up is that the jump out of the rat race – or any major life change – brings both excitement and fear. Unfortunately, for many, fear wins. I am very much going through the same emotions myself as I head towards an early exit from the rat race. Glad to see I’m not the only one feeling the fear, and doing it anyway!
Tony, it is wonderful to share my thoughts and fears with others that are facing the same situation. It is certainly a huge leap and nice to know there are others out there overcoming their fear and not letting it slow them down. Well done for staying on course!
Thank you so much for sharing. I find myself wondering many of the same things. On a side note, the toughest thing we encounter when traveling are the street dogs. It breaks our hearts, but I try to publicize their plight so that they may be helped. There are also many ways you can volunteer while traveling to help these pups.
Thank you for understanding my insane love of animals. I am going to look into the volunteer opportunities and try to apply my skills to helping. Great to know I am not alone.
Great post, Warren. I liked you plenty before reading it, and like you even more after. I am glad to know you and love the road and Betsy have chosen.
Thank you Paula. This means a lot and your kind words make it all worthwhile. You set a very high bar with the wonderfully interesting life you have led.
Hey Warren,
Thanks so much for sharing a bit more of who you are. It’s funny because I think Corbett has set of small movement with his post last week and I decided to follow with my no bullshI#$# guide to who I really am. I’m hoping more people will follow with posts of their own because these are really interesting to read.
Absolutely right! Mr. Barr has certainly motivated us to be more open and to let all our readers know who we are, what motivates us, and what we believe. While difficult and scary to share, I feel so much better for putting it all out there. I too encourage more people to do the same and feel liberated in the process.
Thank you so much for dropping by and sharing your thoughts.
Warren, thanks for sharing this.
Someday, when I get to meet you in person (probably not at the Meet Up!) I now know it will be my job to walk up to you and tell you that I am there to “break the ice,” because I would love to sit down and talk to you about so very many things.
You and Betsy are going to have the most amazing journey, and I am excited to be able to join in vicariously thanks to Our Blessed Internet.
SS
Hey Suzette,
I would love to meet you in person and talk about any & all things you have on your mind. So sorry we will not meet at Meet, Plan, Go but hope that in the next 66 days we find an opportunity. Otherwise, just come see up on the road. You pick the place!
Oh, I believe Suzette is already on the guest list, so you WILL get to meet her. You just won’t have time for the in-depth conversation I know you both will get into with a full house like that. Must schedule that sometime before we leave!
Warren, my brother from another mother….well done! I just love these “inside looks” you and Betsy are sharing – quite brave! I know we are a lot alike, but I’m still shocked that you have trouble with strangers and initiating conversation – so NOT my experience of you! Give yourself more credit..
Also, thanks for sharing #1…I don’t think many people know this and I’m sure it was hard to share. Actually, the whole list is probably somewhat hard to put on paper but that’s just the kind of people the Talbots are – and why we all love you so much!
Karen, thank you for the support as I struggle with meeting strangers. It is great to know I am making progress but know I have a long way to go to be as comfortable with it as you. You can be my inspiration for this one.
Warren -
I always love learning new things about you. There are many things I admire about you but one of the things topping the list at this moment is that you haven’t hit the snooze button more than 5 times in your life! Totally envy.
It’s good to hear from you in this way my friend!
Silly snooze alarm…who needs it.
It’s funny how many things I can identify with, just as with Betsy’s post last week. The one thing I absolutely can’t though is being a morning person – haha! I’ve tried to make myself into one forever but it still hasn’t happened. Luckily I’m now in a job where it doesn’t matter so much, however in college, one of my many jobs for a while was working at a YMCA from 5-8a.m. before going to classes. For someone who is so not a morning person, that was pure hell
As for your question, I think the thing that has most shaped my life was probably having a father who was an alcoholic (thankfully never killed anyone while driving drunk, probably due to luck and living in a small town with little traffic). While I can’t say that I wouldn’t have changed that fact (would be nice to have something positive as a life-shaper!), it was what forced me to set out for college having no clue how I’d actually make it on my own (as I posted in reply to Betsy’s list). While people may find out about my rather unorthodox experience with college, they usually don’t know why. One college friend did tell me that she thought it was odd that she’d never heard me mention my father, only my mother. Unfortunately, my response was that I didn’t have anything nice to say, so chose to say nothing at all. Ironically enough, it turns out that her father was also an alcoholic, so she knew exactly how I felt. It’s not really something most people bring up in general conversation though.
Traci thank you so much for sharing such an intimate story with us. It is amazing how life shaping your decisions on how to deal with a situation like this and I am so happy to hear that you have chosen to focus on the positive that it has brought you.
I am delighted to have you as a reader and to follow you blog. Thank you for being so open and sharing with us.
Warren, I’ve really enjoyed learning more about you and Betsy in these last two posts. You’re both very courageous and inspiring people — and the type I’d love to spend an evening with in a pub (so let me know if you’re coming through London!)
Francine thank you for your kind words and comment. We would love to meet you when we bounce through the UK. We would come to London just to meet you so as we wrap up our time through Africa our next step will most likely be a pub for a pint or 2 with you. I think we will be ready by then. Book us tentatively for Oct 2012:)
Warren- I’m yet another person that you haven’t met yet (I know Betsy through Ewomen) but I’ve been following you both with great interest. I sympathize with your disproportionate sense of fairness as its an affliction that I have as well. I find it makes me angry inside so very much of the time (not like going postal angry, just irritated!) I too wish it did not bother me so much but I don’t think its possible to get rid of entirely- I spend a lot of energy trying to “let it go”! Someday we should compare notes on how we deal with this issue- I’ll be at the event in September so we can at least meet and I greatly look forward to it. I’m bringing my husband, another tech guy, in the hopes that it will help push him one step closer towards a similar travel break.
I cannot wait to meet you as I have heard so much about you from Betsy. It will be good to share our struggles with the issues with judging others and learn how you are dealing with it. I am excited to chat with you and hope we can help give your husband a little motivation as well while we are there.
Warren,
I’m with you on #18 (among others), aspire to #13, and want to point out that you left out your magical hugs. Not everyone knows that you give great hugs and it’s one of the things I like most about you (because a good hug tells me a lot about a person).
Thanks for your honesty.
I do love a good hug so I am delighted to know that I give them as well. Thank you Margit for adding another thing I can feel good about to my list!
Hi Warren, I loved it when Betsy did this and am pleased that you have followed suit. Wouldn’t be interesting if we all did this? My problem would be what to leave out. The thing most interesting is how much alike we are than different. I found myself thinking that when I read Betsy’s post too. Funny how the few differences between people can become walls.
I trust that you won’t do the drastic “Into the Wild” thing, but understand the desire for simplicity. I look forward to both of your posts as you travel.
I’m going to get one of those hugs Margit speaks of at the big party. It is my challenge to myself because I am also gripped by the shy bug at the most inopportune times. No, to the naked bike ride though.
I’ll be watching and reading about your travels with delight!
GOOOOOD morning my morning friend! One of the many reasons I love you – I too do not use the snooze and most mornings don’t even have an alarm set – it’s just time to get up!
What makes you so spectacular in a social setting is your natural curiosity about people and places. Your interest in other people makes you the kind of person others find equally interesting.
Much to Betsy’s dismay I will glad join you in a debate on any topic as I too find these such wonderful opportunities to learn about belief systems – what one good debater recognizes about another is that we aren’t interested in changing the other’s position – merely learning – and that if we both walk away from the conversation with a higher level of understanding – well, then we both “win”
Wonderful piece Warren. Thank you for the insights before you journey. I am looking forward to reading and enjoying your journeys!
I, too, love a good debate. Unfortunately I live in the land where debate means argument. One is pinned with the first comment instead of the possibilities of exploration. It is one of the main reasons I know I cannot grow old in the most beautiful places on the earth!
Amazing! You both continue to inspire me, inspire us. I hope someday we can meet somewhere in the world!
It’s SO nice hearing more about both of you!
I admire you and I’m excited for you knowing that your lives are going to become so much richer by this trip! I can relate to many of these Warren:
#1 I lost 3 friends in my early 20′s and it has definitely shaped the way I live my life…#2 live for TODAY!
#4 I was the crazy cat lady one year rescuing all the strays. In Hawaii there are so many abandoned cats everywhere it could drive one crazy. When I see a stray now I’ll give it a can of tuna from the store or I’ll order something on the menu I can leave for them.
Kind of like giving the homeless guy on the corner a few bucks without taking him home.
#6 As you know, vacations are so much different than traveling. You can go to a Club Med anywhere in the world and still be at Club Med.
You two will become a part of each place you visit.
#12 This is sweet! Not many people have this in a lifetime.
#17 Now we all want to know..this would make a great post!
#23 You’ll change so much from this experience
that you won’t be the same when you come back, so you never know what wonderful things are ahead.
#13 LOVE THIS attitude!!
From my experience of being on the road, it’s still your life…just living it outside the norm and OHHH how wonderful that is! I think traveling is the absolute BEST education and best way to live EVER!
I hope you two are planning on doing a book, I’ll pre order right now! Have you thought of maybe doing a travel log for the time you’re gone and selling it as an ongoing E-book? We can all purchase the chapters as they come in, sponsoring your travels.
~Aloha
One more thing…I think what is so sweet about traveling is that we tend to stay in present time more than in our ‘regular’ life.
Your mother-in-law especially likes #12!
I found much of this fascinating in a positive way, with the exception of “put your shirt on…” I don’t understand what you were getting at. I’m happiest when it’s warm and I’m fit enough to be comfortable without a shirt. I went months at a time not wearing a shirt as a teenager,and it was awesome.
And I detest public transportation. I hate the noise, the smell, the crowds, and the fact that it runs on someone else’s schedule. And that it gets in the way when I’m trying to drive somewhere.