Think you are overweight because you have no willpower? That might be true, but it has nothing to do with food and everything to do with indulging.
Let me explain.
Adult=Fat?
My entire adult life has been a struggle to keep my weight in check, and my standard line has always been “I’m a woman of many appetites, and food just happens to be one of them.” Ba-dum-dum.
The thing is, I said that to make a preemptive strike against anyone who would dare think or comment about those extra 20-40 pounds that clung to my gut and butt at various points in the last 20 years. (“See, I’m witty and a little flirty, too! Isn’t that more noticeable than my large ass?”)
Couple that with the fact that I’m really not a dessert person – I’d pick mashed potatoes over chocolate any day – but Warren is, and you can see we have the perfect storm for couple fat-dom. My large dinner portions and appetizers contributed to Warren’s weight gain, and his daily dessert contributed to mine. <Sigh> It is a marriage made in foodie heaven.
As I approached 40, I became resigned to the fact that I would probably always be overweight. Warren was similarly discouraged and resigned about his expanding waistline.
And then we left on our trip around the world.
Our entire lives changed. Where I used to think about lunch during breakfast and dinner during lunch and after dinner snacks pretty much all day, I now spent my time thinking about what we had seen and done that day and what the next day held in store. Warren stopped grazing on snacks and chocolate during the day because he didn’t have time for it.
We both looked forward to daily exercise, though that is not what we called it as we hiked and walked around the mountains and towns of Ecuador.
Our biggest goal was to see more of the world as deeply in each place as possible, and to do that we had
to be frugal with our money. We opted for a bigger breakfast and lunch because it kept our energy up during the day and then just had a light snack for dinner because that is typically the most expensive meal to buy. We did not actively modify our diet any other way, and we continued to enjoy wine or beer daily along with sampling a wide variety of foods.
There were times when we were so busy or involved in an activity that we actually FORGOT to eat. (This may be common to some people, but I can assure you it is a phenomenon that had never, ever happened to me before.)
One day about 5 weeks into our trip my friend Catherine commented that I looked like I had lost weight. I remember the day, what I was wearing, and exactly how it felt. Those of you who struggle with your weight understand this completely.
Sure, I had noticed Warren losing weight, especially after a weeklong illness, but like before I expected that any weight we lost would rapidly come piling back on. After all, we weren’t paying any special attention to what we ate or drank or how many calories we burned each day.
Before long, it was apparent that we were both losing weight and keeping it off, and over the course of many weeks we began donating our too-big clothing at towns along the way. Friends from back home began commenting on our photos online. I nicknamed Warren “Flaco” – which means “skinny” in Spanish.
We weren’t sure what was happening, though we estimated we had each lost about 20 pounds. In fact, we worried a little that it would come back since we had no idea how it was coming off.
The ah-ha moment
It wasn’t until I posted a picture on our Facebook page recently of a night out with a fellow blogger that it all started to click. Reader Angela Barton said: “Funny thought- you could probably sell your adventure to a huge number of people by labeling it as a diet/makeover plan.”
Her comment surprised me since the picture had nothing to do with weight loss or food. But the picture did show some cheekbones, and that was pretty new.
Angela’s comment made me think, and I kept coming back to the same question:
Does satisfying your hunger for life keep your physical hunger in check?
I thought back to the reasons we became overweight in the first place, and they all stemmed from dissatisfaction with our lives: work, relationships, and lack of commitment to what we said was most important to us.
- Bad/tough day at work? Go out to eat. We deserve it for putting up with the abuse/frustration/hours, right?
- Relationship not going so well? Ice cream is the cure for feeling a little unloved.
- Bored with life? Check out even further by watching DVDs every night and stuffing our faces with junk food.
We had to treat ourselves because we were not treating ourselves well.
What does this all boil down to? Indulgence.
You can indulge yourself the rational way by following your dreams, living the life you want surrounded by people who love and support you…
OR
You can find other ways to indulge this need through food or any other substandard replacement.
It has taken me 40 years to realize that eating comfort food every day means my life is out of balance. At least in my case, fat ass = skinny soul.
About Betsy
You wrote a very insightful article. I totally agree. When I was a personal trainer I knew that the people who would be successful with their weight loss goals were the clients who liked their lives. People who were trying to fit better self-care into their jammed day were rarely successful long-term. I have really enjoyed reading about your travels and am looking forward to even more insights.
Darla, that is a great observation. It all comes down to liking who you are and what you are doing in this world, doesn’t it? Easy to say, not always so easy to do. This was no quick fix – we started planning this trip in 2008 – so a long-term plan for happiness seems to be more effective for weight loss than any short-term diet.
I. Love. You. Both.
You’re both absolutely beautiful people and I can relate so much to this post. I have struggled with my weight for years, since high school. Just too busy to do anything about it. Now, the same thing as you, I’m noticing a difference in my body. Certainly not as dramatic as you, but my belly isn’t nearly as protrusive as before.
You guys are one of the cutest couples I know! Congratulations on the weight loss!
Corey, you are so sweet! I’m glad to see you are experiencing similar results. It is all about pursuing what really means something to you, isn’t it?
Happy travels!
Hooray for you both!! This is awesome. And you probably could market an around the world trip as weight loss/makeover….I don’t know whether to find that amusing or sad, but either way it would probably work.
This is a great story and I love how your honesty comes through in your words. Thanks for sharing!
You are right – it is funny/sad. But diet/makeover books typically sell because they offer a quick fix, and reworking your life is a lot harder than following the latest gimmick for a few weeks. So I guess we won’t be competing with the Atkins books anytime soon. And we’re okay with that.
This is a great article! I love it. I can and do those same things every day. If you think I was pining after my Round the World trip…this post makes me do it triplefold! Awesome!
Corinne, that’s going to be the challenge: what do we do at the end of our travels? We have to continue to challenge ourselves to go for what we want instead of what is convenient (what is convenient now rarely stays convenient for long). Easy to say, tough to do. How are you dealing with it? Or do you have a bag packed in your closet to make a quick getaway one day?
Betsy – this post is absolutely brilliant. Love your honesty, and *super* love your outlook.
It’s nice to think of weight loss almost as a pleasant “side effect” of living the life you dreamed of, right? Rather than something to be obsessed and depressed about.
Congrats on a really fabulous post!
Thanks, Dalene. I like your concept of a healthy weight as a side effect of being happy – just like being overweight is a sign something is not right.
Yep. Its like with the booze (my downfall not food), you must ask yourself “what am I really thirsty for?”
Rob, we all have our coping mechanisms, don’t we? Just knowing what they are – and when they are being used in excess – is half the battle. Funny how hard that is to see sometimes, though. Or maybe we don’t want to face the answers to that question. What do you think?
This is great, guys. I’ve heard the opposite arguments too though from those who have gained weight during their travels and attribute it to trying out as much as the local fare as possible (and quite possibly from partying hard — those beer calories do add up).
I think your style of traveling attributes to getting those pounds off… being aware of what you eat and climbing up and down volcanoes
Keep it up!
Hey, Jack-Jill. I don’t think the weight loss comes from travel at all – in fact, we know several people who have gained weight on rtw trips. I think it comes from living the life you want, which for us is about long-term internal and external discovery.
I think if you are living the life you want surrounded by people who love and support you that you will find yourself naturally eating the right amount of food – whether you travel or not.
(And I would agree that our more active style contributes, as does the fact that we aren’t big partiers and rarely have more than 1-2 drinks at a time.)
I love this post!!! I agree with Kristin…that is funny/sad at the same time. I never thought about it before, but we totally reward ourselves with food. We have never said…hey I had a bad day lets go for a walk it normally is pizza or burgers, or a movie with a large soda and a cinnabun! hahahah and we wonder why we have gotten plump in our old age. lol
What a great perspective…I agree with Angela you guys should package this as a weight loss plan and try to sell it to people. Mostly because it isn’t about the weight at all, but because people aren’t living the lives that they truly want and I think you are both great examples of going and getting what you really want out of life. Cheers!
On a more personal note….I hope after 132 days I can also share great stories of 20 lbs lighter.
Maybe some of the Chinese clothes will fit me then. 
Keep the posts coming!
Hi, Paz. We actually weighed ourselves today at the horse track on the jockey scale (it is hard to weigh yourself when traveling because hostels don’t usually come with scales, so you take your opportunities where you find them
. I am down 20 pounds and Warren is down 25. I guess the whole thing boils down to having less instances of “I had a bad day so I need X” and more instances of satisfaction so the idea of comfort food doesn’t even come up on our radar.
We are looking forward to hearing all your great stories of your adventures in China!
Besty-
Congrats on the weight…it was too funny. That same night I finished A LOT of stuff for our trip and Zeek brought way too much Chinese food and a movie home for my congratulations. “we deserved it”. lol I couldn’t stop laughing.
I have to admit I totally gobbled it up.
We are totally excited for our trip. Maybe you guys could add an Asia route on your adventure???
All the best
Paz
Oooh, you know the one thing we’ve really missed on this trip is good Chinese food.
And we will be going through Asia, though we’re not sure how long or where yet. We do think we’re going west instead of east when we leave South America, so if you stay in China long enough we might just make it to your front door (be careful what you wish for!) 
Happy Travels!
This is my one of my favorite posts! I very much appreciate your sincerity. Congratulations on finding balance.
Glückliche Reise, Tschüss!
Thanks, Lauren. Sometimes it takes a lot to push that “publish” button, so thanks for letting me know you liked it.
Vielen danke!
Wow! Very well said! You guys look fantastic, by the way.
Hey, we love compliments – thank you. (you look amazing, too – we’re sure of it!)
This post is touching in so many ways, thanks for sharing. It’s encouraged me to comment for the first time even though I’ve been following you guys for months now!
I’ve grappled with my weight my whole life as well and am gearing up for my own RTW (leaving this summer). I’ve noticed that just since I decided to take the plunge and start aggressively planning last Fall, lots of pounds have dropped off. People are starting to notice and it’s really gratifying to just say “thanks, I’m in a really good place” in response to their comments.
Keep up the posts, and thanks for all the inspiration.
Emily, we’re so glad to have you join the conversation! You may have just summed up the entire article in a single phrase – “thanks, I’m in a really good place.” It is what I hope for us and what we hope for all of you, too. We can’t wait to hear about your adventures this summer.
That’s awesome that you are both slimming down. I had the same experience when we went on our trip. We spent two months caravaning across France, Italy, Switzerland, and Spain. The food was GOOD! I ate as much as I wanted, drank at least a half bottle of wine every day, never got hungry, and never did any deliberate exercise — and still lost twenty-eight pounds. There is nothing like travel for displacing bad habits with good ones.
It will be interesting to see how your bodies adapt to your new lifestyle. You’ll be doing this for years, so there must be a point where things will stabilize. I don’t want to see you whither away to nothing! But it is nice to see healthier people in your pictures.
Joe, I’m a woman of SUBSTANCE – I’ll never whither away to nothing.
I actually think it will probably level off at some point, and I’m okay with that. As long as we keep living in that “really good place” that Emily spoke of, I think the weight will just take care of itself. I’m not expecting to be a bikini model at any point, but it does feel really terrific to climb stairs without being winded and sightsee all day without back or knee pain.
Maybe you guys want to coauthor a book with us – “How we ate like royalty, drank like winos, and traveled the world to lose weight.” It has “bestseller” written all over it. hehehe
WONDERFUL post and I think you are absolutely right. On our RTW ,we too, both lost around that amount of weight and still felt we ate anything we wanted. Of course, without the conveniences of our modern world here in the US we were certainly walking more, climbing stairs to our room, etc. but we also would forget to eat sometimes and also just ate smaller portions because we were ready to move on to the next exciting moment.
You both look great and, more importantly, look like you FEEL great. You have that special glow that being really happy and complete in the moment gives you.
Now that I am back in my cubicle I have up a picture up on the wall of Jim & I sitting on the ground in Malawai watching the local children do a dance for us. We were there in an incredibly poor area, having just eaten one of the most bland meals we’ve ever had, and we were glowing. I’ve never been happier. That single moment in time reminds me every day that “stuff” is never going to make me complete…the experiences and wonder of this amazing world is what I need to feel my most authentic self.
Good luck on your continuing journey to enlightenment and a smaller waist and keep posting!
Rhonda, what a great reminder! Visual cues are so important in keeping us on track with our dreams – where we want to go, the lessons from where we’ve been, and what makes us happy right this minute. Sometimes we get caught up in the day-to-day and forget, so having a great picture around is a smart idea. And you are right – stuff is just stuff and can always be replaced. Experiences are where the real value is.
I’m so happy to think that I was part of the spark that produced such a terrific post! So thoughtful, and so true. I used to often forget to eat, and people would laugh at me. Part of it was being strangely unaware of my body, but another part of it was being deeply engaged in what I was doing. One time my brother and I were hiking in Muir Woods and we were so high on life we set out toward the ocean. We were almost there before we realized we didn’t have enough water or even a snack. A little dangerous, but I love our young selves that went with that spontaneity.
When my husband and I spent two weeks in the Yucatan, our budget was so tight we routinely split meals. That was plenty for us to enjoy the great food, and still left some funds for the obligatory margarita or beer. But what we were really excited about was the snorkeling and exploring the Mayan ruins, and in our photos we look tanned and happy, and so slim and buff.
So happy for you guys that you’re living your dream and inspiring others.
Angela, you are the spark to a lot of things in our lives! It was so strange to see your comment on Facebook, and it really did dominate my thoughts for several days as I worked through it. Sometimes you just have to be in the right space to hear something.
I love the idea of splitting dinners so you can have a happy hour later or have the funds for a bus to the ruins or to rent snorkeling equipment. We’ve gotten to the point now that we plan our consumption around our activity level – bigger meals on days we are active and smaller meals on days when we are not (or splitting). It feels good to think about what our bodies need instead of what is available – both from health and financial standpoints. The other surprising thing is that is just feels natural to do that – maybe it is part of becoming more “strangely aware” of my body (see – yet another comment you made that fascinates me!)
The post is wonderful, the weight lose a nice by-product but it’s the wisdom that I want to applaud.
“I think if you are living the life you want surrounded by people who love and support you that you will find yourself… – whether you travel or not.” Y
I think what you will find is: yourself healthier, more positive, more open to posibilities and more productive in things that matter. Bravo you two… you are quite an inspiration! Journey forth… with gusto!!!
Love & light,
Leslie Spero
Leslie, that is the entire message. We’re happy and in a good place, and what naturally follows from that is better health. It is a vicious cycle – better health, positive attitude, more productive, and open to new opportunities. I like this a lot! Love and light to you as well.
Some people eat when they are happy and don’t eat when they are sad. But that’s probably not the norm.
For most people, if our lives cause emotions that we want to “stuff down” to deal with “later,” we use comfort food to bottle it up.
When we re-enter the flow of life . . . we get in touch with the moment . . . we listen to our body and its inner wisdom . . . we eat when hungry and sleep when tired.
Congrats!
That’s it, nrhatch – the ability to get in touch with the moment, listen to our bodies, and respond as necessary. We overly complicate things a lot of the time, don’t we? I think of all the things I wanted to say/do and didn’t – and instead stuffed myself with junk. Wouldn’t it have been better to just say/do the thing, even if it didn’t work out? I mean, I’m losing weight now gained from things I ate YEARS AGO when I didn’t say or do the thing I know I needed to do. Crazy when you think of it that way, isn’t it?
You both look great…the trip definitely looks good on you
Lifestyle is a big factor in weight, I think. When we lived in the country, ironically, my family and I actually gained weight. I think it was because we had to drive everywhere…for gas, groceries, friends’ houses. Now we near our town’s main street, we walk, at least we did last summer & fall when we moved…it has been a bit hard to lately as the temperature hovers around -20 Celsius with the windchill…it’s been a long cold winter up here 
Hey, Joanna, that is cold! We recently met a Canadian who was on her 4th winter outside of Canada. She said she just couldn’t hack it anymore and didn’t want to be anywhere where it was unreasonable to wear a bathing suit in January.
I do think some weight gain/loss can be attributed to living in an area that is not walkable, but we lived in the city in Seattle for 4 years and I rarely drove (we only filled up our car about 4 times a year). Walking didn’t do me any good there because I was offsetting it with so much junk.
Hope you are staying warm (and I won’t tell you we just spent a sunny afternoon at the horse track in our short sleeves
oops, it slipped out!)
I don’t have anything to add to the insights already expressed. Just had to say thank you for the stupendous post. One of my favorites of all time on any blog. Thanks again.
Wow, that’s high praise, Kristin. Thank you. There are a few issues that I think are hot buttons for the vast majority of us, and health/weight is definitely one of them.
Incredible post. I really needed to read this today. During a really terrible and somewhat ongoing bout with depression, I’ve gained almost 40 lbs. I’m realizing that my connection with food not nourishment for my body, but more nourishment for my emotions. I’ve been stifling my need to get out of my job with eating. I can’t wait to get out and explore the world…and lose weight too! To be honest, I teared up a bit reading this. Thank you for being an inspiration to me and all of us on the weight loss trail
Sheryll, I’m sorry to hear about your depression. People very close to me have and do struggle with this, and I’ve seen how debilitating it can be. I hope you are getting the medicinal and therapeutic help you need while you explore the lifestyle changes that will make you happier.
You know, I’ve been a teeth grinder for most of my life, and it wasn’t until my friend Chad pointed out to me that night grinding is the result of not saying things you want to say in the light of day. It is amazing how we consciously and subconsciously try to “stifle” ourselves, like you said above. The same holds true for actions – like leaving a bad job – and we stifle our cries for change with chips or ice cream or chocolate. What in the heck is wrong with our thinking that we believe this is logical?!
But now that you know you need to get out of your job it is all a matter of taking the steps to eventually be able to do that, right? I’d love to hear back from you as you make these changes. We’re pulling for you!
I love this post! I’m overweight “by nature”, I just always have been. When I went to Ireland and France for two months to just clear my head, I did so much walking that it all just fell off. My friends were shocked when I returned home, but I hadn’t really noticed that much of a difference until they pointed it out. It really was gradual, yet incredibly effective.
I’ve since thought about the several times in my life when daily walking or biking was built in to my day, and how hard it was to stay overweight during those times. I just didn’t eat as much, and I enjoyed being outside, and my clothes just started falling off. I didn’t need a fancy gym or anything! Right now I’m writing from the comfort of my easy chair in my living room, having just polished off lunch. This post is inspiring me! Maybe I’ll go for a walk……
It is amazing that when we worry constantly about losing weight we don’t, and when we just concentrate our efforts on having a good life our body responds by becoming healthier.
Hope you enjoyed your walk!
I’ve noticed you look slimmer. What a wonderful reward for going after your dreams! My husband and I have been looking at live aboard sailboats and realized if this is a dream we’re going to try on we need to get into tip top shape otherwise we’ll be washed out to sea!
Live aboard sailboats – how exciting! We have friends who live on a boat full-time, and just before we left we met a couple who had spent 7 years sailing around the world. What a grand adventure!
The other great thing about living in such a small place is the lack of storage for food. When you have to plan your meals daily and buy fresh all the time I think you just eat better than when you can stock up on all that food.
We can’t wait to hear more your plans.
Betsy I am the same way and then shocked I can go for hours without thinking of food – except ice cream, I need my afternoon ice cream.
You are turning into a true South American if you eat ice cream every day, Ayngelina!
This is freaking awesome. AWESOME!!! Most people don’t know it now, but before I ran marathons I was 80 (!!) pounds heavier and miserable. I would use food as my reward for surviving a long day at work or putting up with whatever crap I put up with in a day. It wasn’t until I embraced my life and allowed myself to be happy that the weight came off (and I watched my diet and I exercised too…). Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that you are on to something. If you don’t feed your soul you’ll feed your face instead.
Kim, you nailed it: “If you don’t feed your soul you’ll feed your face instead.” Truer words were never spoken. Congrats on realizing it and turning your life and your health around.
This is a fantastic post and so true. I lost four pounds very early on in our trip and have never regained it because I am not sitting on my butt all day long. We eat A LOT on our trip (hence the focus of our journey) but we exercise way more than we ever used to. We walk at least 5 miles every day and don’t even think of it. Patrick’s worn through 3 pairs of shoes in a single year! Congratulations to both of you for losing weight – that is a wonderful side effect of an already wonderful trip!
Number 1 effective rule is… “Don’t deprive yourself!” You need to discipline yourself, but on the other hand, you must also reward yourself. To avoid the tendency of craving for something. It can destroy all your workout results if you push yourself into your limit.
oh, OH I love this post so much! Amen to the title, Amen to the content, Amen to the comments!
Before my husband and I left on our “adventures”, I was antsy and unfulfilled sitting at my desk job and would reward myself for sitting in my cubicle by allowing snacks at regular intervals…and boy, did I live/work for those snacks! It’s a crazy circle, and getting out was the best thing I have done for myself in recent years.
However, I do have to agree with Jill in that I think it has been a bit harder than I thought to lose weight on the road. I thought I would lose weight just by leaving my office chair and walking/hiking/being happy. I have found that the lack of regular schedule and eating habits on the road doesn’t work as well for me and weight loss…but I am considerably stronger and more rested! Even though the scale has not moved, I do feel stronger and more confident in my skin. Thanks for the insightful post!
What an Aha! moment reading this post was! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Thanks, Radhika. That’s some hard-won wisdom, you know.