We told you guys last year that we’d be settling down for 6 months to write and earn some cash for our continuing journey around the world (and we let you pick the location). We are now halfway through our first dedicated work stint of the journey, and the hyperconcentration on a single goal is taking its toll. It reminds me of our 2-year savings and downsizing plan to get ready for the trip, where we occasionally lost our mojo or got frustrated.
It even happened long before the trip in large and small ways, which is why I know some of you suffer from this, too:
- One year I gave up caffeine entirely, which was hard on me and worse on those who used to love me. (Have your scars healed? Please come back – I’m on the sauce again.)
- Another time I was training for a half-marathon, getting up early to run every morning in the breaking dawn in the freezing rain and cold. I turned down most evening plans to be ready for my early-morning runs, and my social life suffered as a result (though honestly, it could have been the continuing fallout from the no-caffeine thing.)
- Then there was the time that we wanted to paint our entire home interior in a medley of 3 colors – green, orange, and yellow – and we would not stop until it was done, painting every night after work and every weekend. We were so exhausted by the time we finished that we moved before we ever got the energy to paint the outside.
In the old days I thought this loss of mojo was due to the weather since it often happened in the winter. But here we are in sunny Thailand, where the winter is the most pleasant I’ve ever known, and I’m doing it again.
I’m consumed by writing this book (strippers, monsters, and ass kicking – what more could you want in your self-help?). When I’m not writing I’m thinking about what I will write, or how to promote the book, or what other great stories to add to it. When I read another book, I’m curious as to how the writer has set up the story or promoted it or solved a problem for readers. I’m not getting much in the way of exercise, but I fall into bed mentally exhausted every night.
Warren is likewise preoccupied with the promotion and selling of it, revamping our website, and completing website projects for clients so we can continue our dream of long-term travel. All of our conversations center around the work we are doing – work we want to do, for sure, but still work. We have been talking about and doing this one thing that we have almost forgotten why we’re doing it in the first place.
We lost our mojo.
I don’t believe you can live your life in perfect balance, but I do think trying to balance everything out in the long run is the goal. Our latest visa run to the Burmese border put it all into perspective and reminded us just why we are doing this work (and when we need to sit back and enjoy the fruits of our labors). It all started with leaving the laptop behind.
After doing the necessary border cross and return, we spent the remainder of our time away in the small mountain town of Chiang Rai, Thailand, renting a motorbike to see the sights and just take in the fragrant beauty of winding mountain roads. We felt the wind in our hair, talked to locals at the marketplace, and discovered beautiful architecture, delicious foods, and a stunning display of Mother Nature’s finest assets.
We went to the bus station and headed back to Chiang Mai the next day, a little bit pink from the sun and happy for our short adventure. We both remarked that we had recaptured our mojo, the real reason we were doing all this hard work to begin with. Our dream life is one of discovery and adventure, and even though we feel very passionate about the work we are doing now, it is not an end in and of itself. It is a means to an end, and we had forgotten that for a while.
Maybe you are doing the same thing right now, focusing so much on a project that you have forgotten the reason you started it:
- The home improvement project that takes you away from your family when it is supposed to eventually give you a better space to spend time together
- The work project that takes up all your free time when it is supposed to get you a raise/bonus/promotion to further fund your free pursuits
- The gung-ho exercise program that leaves you too exhausted to move when it is meant to restore your energy for other things.
Learn from our experience. It doesn’t take much to remind yourself why you are working so hard, and that little break might be just what you need to refocus and make big strides in your project.
How to recapture your mojo
- Come up for air. Step back from what you’re doing, if only for a night or a weekend. Sleep in, watch a movie, take a walk, call a friend. I promise, the work will still be there when you return.
- Set yourself a deadline. So many people work without an end in sight, and you have to know when you are making headway or need to admit failure and move on to something new. Avoid the slog and know where your efforts are leading you.
- Reconnect with your long-term vision, the reason you are doing it in the first place. Spend time with friends and family or enjoy a leisure activity. Read the top 5 regrets of people who are dying from a hospice nurse if you don’t think this matters.
Get your mojo back so you can continue to do great things with your life.
About Betsy
Great reminder post, Betsy. Losing mojo happens to everyone. In the past, extended house projects caused me to NEVER want to own a house EVER again. Feel my attitude towards homeownership? But the experience makes me love living in an apartment.
The article link to Regrets of People Dying is so true. I try to remind myself of those 5 things periodically but I don’t success at keeping them top of mind. Glad you two had fun getting your mojo back. Keep up the travels. I want you to still be traveling when I start in 3 years.
Tricia recently posted..Where Should We Go In….Chile – Part One
Tricia, I’m with you on the home ownership thing. It does give you a lot of pride to finish one of those projects, but if you move a lot like I do (and did even before), you don’t get to enjoy it long-term. So I’ll stick with renting/housesitting for a while. Gotta know where your strengths are.
And YES, we will still be slow traveling in 3 years, though I have no idea where we’ll be. Looking forward to our eventual meetup somewhere out there.
Betsy recently posted..How to Get My Mojo Back
Nice entry Betsy… I know exactly how you’re feeling and love that you did get your mojo back. I’m glad you enjoyed Chiang Rai.. have you been to Pei yet?
Can’t wait to read more from you guys..keep up the good work.
BTW – 2 days left on our 15day reboot diet…it has been a huge challenge, much greater than we had anticipated, but by doing it together we haven’t cheated once and feel great and have both lost weight. I’m glad we persevered. That being said we’re going out for dinner Saturday night and I’m having wine, bread, meat AND cheese!!!
Cheers,
Rhonda
Rhonda recently posted..Year End Reflections and Gratitude
Rhonda, that’s terrific. And I love that you remembered WHY you are doing it and have a celebration planned for the end of your reboot. We’re doing the same thing with our trip planning now – knowing that this work time will result in a great adventure starting in April and lasting all summer long. The mojo is back!
We have not been to Pei yet – we are in the high season here still, and things are pretty well overrun. We will probably go in February, though.
Betsy recently posted..How to Get My Mojo Back
Yay! I have to admit even I was worried about you guys for a bit, there. You are off on this grand adventure and I’m so glad you recharged and reconnected to your larger mission and goal. You both are so ambitious that I know it’s easy to fall prey to the work, perfection, and to-do list. But this journey is about savoring, experiencing and enjoying. I’m confident the money and work to fund the trip will come, you WILL be successful and it will all work itself out.
Now go have a cocktail!
xo
Maria Ross recently posted..Why SOPA Sucks
Hey, Maria. It is definitely a balancing act as we both have a tendency to go all in (hence the selling of the stuff
We have to be mindful of our overriding goals and temper our behavior so we end up with the result we want, not the one that is easiest for us to obtain. Good lessons being learned every day here in sunny Thailand!
Betsy recently posted..How to Get My Mojo Back
Your posts are so interesting, and this one especially. When I read this, I’m reminded of a book I once read about ‘one year to live’. The author pretends, for a year, that it’s his last. I thought it would say practical stuff (like, “I quit my job, travelled, etc.) but it was more rather about a mindset. He wrote from a very meditative, mindful aspect. In a sense, we have to look at moment of our life, no matter how mundane or seemingly unimportant, as actually very important. Easier said than done too. I enjoy planning for our trip, but I’m trying to think along the lines as ‘even if this doesn’t happen..I can I make each day special’. Because in the end, all we really have is the present.
Anyway..one of my plans is to visit Thailand and I have to ask..have you been to Krabi? I just saw a dvd on it and thought..I want to go there.
Joanna, this is the key to everything, and you’ll be reading a lot more about it here in the coming weeks. It isn’t the plans you’ve made that determine what kind of life you’ll live but the way you go about living the life you have. It is so much more about how you handle what happens than what you can make happen.
As for Krabi, we haven’t made it to any of the south of Thailand yet, though if you saw how white we were you’d probably tell us not to bother finding a beach!
It is very easy to get stuck in the “must do mode” . . . forgetting to just Let It Be.
Cheers!
nrhatch recently posted..California, Here I Come!
nrhatch, there really aren’t many “must dos” in life, are there? But we prioritize things that way anyway. Thanks for the reality check.
This sounds weirdly familiar! We were in the exact same position last week (and in Chiang Mai too!) when we had been working so hard and felt so stressed. We rode our motorbike to Chiang Dao without our laptops and spent 3 wonderful days relaxing and reminding ourselves why we were doing this.
We have now also implemented a schedule where we go to the gym daily, turn off computers at 10pm and most importantly have two days off a week so we can explore the area and remember why we are working so hard. So far, it’s really helping.
Erin recently posted..White Temple, Chiang Rai: A Photo Essay
Erin, I know you guys have been struggling with this, too. It makes it harder when you feel like you are squandering your time in paradise, right? Glad to see you have some boundaries in place have have forced yourself back into the fun of why you are doing this in the first place.
Forced fun, that should be our new mantra, huh?
Betsy, your blog is an important reminder. There are a lot of us “type a” personalities out there who go full-tilt to get something accomplished. Funny when we relocated and I started seeing my grandson several times within a couple weeks – it brought everything to simple terms… success is health and family for me. The rest? Great stuff, but all bonus! Enjoy the journey – the photos are fabulous. Looking forward to the e-book!
Lori Richardson recently posted..Build the Front of Your Sales Pipeline
Lori, what a wonderful reminder to enjoy the fruits of your labor. We all need a cute face like that to remind us that while the work is important, it is never more important than the overall goal.
Nice reminder, I do this with EVERYTHING. My all-in personality is a blessing and a curse… being extreme helps me to accomplish big things but it also hinders my experience because I can’t just RELAX. Anyway, one of my goals for 2012 is moderation. Moderation, moderation, moderation. It’s my new mantra.
Kim recently posted..Our U.S. National Parks Road Trip Itinerary
Extremists, unite! Wait a sec, if we all “super unite” we’ll probably hurt each other in the process. We may need some slackers in this group for safety…
I think relaxation is something many of us feel guilty about (and something I’m writing about in the book). We never feel like we’ve done enough to get permission to relax. I’m interested to hear how your mantra plays out this year, Kim.
I feel you on the lack of mojo! Even fabulous, worthy goals can become burdensome when working toward them is the only thing on the menu for weeks on end. Breaks, fun, routine-changes and renewal are good for morale, and often good for the long-term goal, too. This is my constant challenge – balancing being in the present and working toward a desirable future.
Erika, even fantastic lives and goals can become “everyday” to the person living them, and it takes stepping back to look at where you are and where you are going to keep it in perspective. I’m also discovering that my best ideas and plans come in the downtime between work, and the work is just the assignment that my downtime ideas create. When you look at it that way, the downtime becomes a necessary part of the process.
Good luck with your balancing act!
Betsy Talbot recently posted..How to Get My Mojo Back
BRAVO! It takes courage to admit the mojo is gone, but it also takes courage to get it back. Which I have no doubt you and Warren will do in no time! Happy (continued) travels!
Thanks, Heather. This whole “transparent living” thing is like free therapy sometimes.
Betsy Talbot recently posted..How to Get My Mojo Back
Wow Betsy, I truly related to this post! It is so easy for me to get so intensely focused on “doing” that I forget about “being!”
This was a trap that I had fallen into for decades and once I finally learned better I thought that I would never be a sucker for that mind set again . . . but . . . old habits die hard. Especially when we live in a culture that puts so much emphasis on outward “achievements” that can be clearly measured . . . particularly by income levels and status symbols al la “toys” and groovy, big houses, etc.
I like what Eckhart Tolle says about this. When you’re caught up in frantic “doing” or what Eckhart describes as “being caught up in Psychological Time,” ask yourself , “Is there a joy, ease and lightness in what I’m doing?”
If not, then it is clear that you’ve moved out of the Now and which is the sure path to “losing our Mojo.”
The great news is that once we recognize it only takes returning to the Present to recapture it. I find meditation and looong walks really help me out. (Which is sort of my version of your little “get away from it all” trip you took that helped you to reconnect.
Tranque, I think this why Warren and I walk so much in our travels. Where so many others take cabs, buses, or rents motorbikes, we are happy to take a longer journey on foot. It slows us down, causes us to appreciate what we are doing and what it takes to get there, and allows us to take in all the sights and experiences along the way. You can’t rush a walk without turning it into a run. It is a built-in regulator, and I can’t recommend it enough for centering on the present. It’s not getting out to do those walks that screwed us up lately.
You know what else I like? Living without a watch. When you live in the present, you don’t need to know what time it is every second of the day. It is NOW. I’d love to read what you have to say about watches given your mantra of living in the present. That would be a huge Life Story Rewrite for most people!
Betsy Talbot recently posted..How to Get My Mojo Back
That is a very interesting point about wearing a watch. I haven’t worn one since I purchased my first cell phone. But now days it seems I’ve sort of engineered my life in a way that the only reason I ever need to know the time is for the sake of others! lol!! These days forgetting the day of the week is a regular event.
But over the past year and especially again as I started this new year I’ve been focusing on time–not what time it is, but on using a timer in 50 minute (sometimes 20) minute blocks of time for uninterrupted productivity.
You constantly awe me with how much you get done . . . conversely, I’m constantly baffled at how little I get accomplished! lol!!
So this has become a vigilant focus of mine right now.
This could have been written by us!
Great tips for recovery of mojo – especially #3. We’ve actually implemented some little activities that give us a daily reminder to stay connected to the big picture and our long term vision. Doing so keeps us out of the weeds and moving forward in a productive (balanced!) way.
Kent @ NVRguys recently posted..Off the Beaten Path Is a Mindset
Well, we are your older twins in so many ways, it doesn’t surprise me!
I love that you have implemented some daily reminders of the long-term vision. We advocated the idea of a physical piece of Dream Porn in our Dream Save Do guide, and now that we are living without any real possessions we need to do a better job of maintaining Dream Porn Activities to keep us on track (oh wow, I can hear the boom-chicka-wow-wow soundtrack already!)
Betsy Talbot recently posted..How to Get My Mojo Back
I found this just in time! We’ve settled in Bulgaria for a month or two to do some freelancing, work on our writing, relax for a bit, and learn how to pronounce the Cyrillic alphabet. At times it feels like we put so much focus into trying to better our blog/writing/photography that we lose where the focus should be – bettering ourselves in the whole process! Otherwise the entire purpose is lost. You hit the nail on the head, thanks! Now off to set me some deadlines…
Dayna recently posted..Dayna’s Travel ABC’s
Dayna, welcome to the conversation! It’s funny how easy it is to fall back into our old mindset, isn’t it? We always tell people that taking a trip around the world or doing something big in your life will not change the things you don’t like about your life if you don’t work on them yourself. There is no magic pill or winning lottery ticket that will do all the work for you.
Enjoy your time in Bulgaria!
I am so glad you two are working on keeping that balance. It slips away at times, but good to get it back.
Naked Girl in a Dress recently posted..Naked Girl Wraps Up Bleeding and Drunk with Hemingway
Great post Betsy. I loved the refocusing. I especially like the last link to help us reconnect with our vision – such a great summary of the need to value life truly, none of us get out of this journey alive, best to live it now!