It would be really easy to be happy all the time if things always went your way. You’d never have to create a plan B, work through an obstacle, or deal with disappointment.
But that’s not real life, so you have to come up with a plan for happiness that also includes detours, road blocks, and loss.
We’ve recently started hosting TED Talk nights after the suggestion of our new friends Bessie and Kyle. Three TED Talks are chosen for the evening and then attendees talk about each one after watching. It’s a great alternative to a book club or dinner party for busy people because it requires no real preparation and introduces the kind of topics that don’t often make it into regular conversation.
The TED Talk below is about how to “synthesize” your happiness, or how you’re wired to be happy based on outcome, not initial goal. Choosing happiness is an option that is supported by your brain. This information supports what I’ve always believed about adaptability being my greatest asset in leading a happy life.
It also confirms my belief that what you think you want is sometimes not what you actually want, and only by moving toward your goals can you discover the side paths that lead to your true calling.
You can watch this powerful TED Talk with Dan Gilbert below (click here if you don’t see the video).
And if you want to start having these kinds of conversations with your friends, we can highly recommend a night of TED Talks. Add food and drink, and you’ve got the makings of a powerful conversation that will last far into the night.
Discover our favorite TED Talk of the week in the Link Love section of the Sunday emails. (What? You’re not getting them? Click here to join the Inner Circle, and we’ll “see” you on Sunday morning.)
About Betsy
Spot On! A plan for happiness that also includes detours, road blocks, and loss = Brilliant.
Spot On! A plan for happiness that also includes detours, road blocks, and loss = Brilliant.
Thank you for putting this topic out there. Too many people derive happiness from outcomes and acquiring ‘things’, which ends up being short lived.
Happiness comes from within and by living in the present moment. When things upset you, it is usually because something has hit a nerve or you are not accepting the change in the moment and going with the flow. Instead of denying ‘negative’ feelings, it is good to feel them and then let them go. I use The Sedona Method for this, a really simple tool, and free to start (I do recommend the book!). When things don’t go your way, you need to give up control and find another way. Basic problem solving really. It is amazing to know that you can be really happy even when the doo-doo is hitting the fan.
BTW - We now have our porn on the wall for our Latin American Adventure 2013/14. Still waiting for Bob to finish reading your book.
Thank you for putting this topic out there. Too many people derive happiness from outcomes and acquiring ‘things’, which ends up being short lived.
Happiness comes from within and by living in the present moment. When things upset you, it is usually because something has hit a nerve or you are not accepting the change in the moment and going with the flow. Instead of denying ‘negative’ feelings, it is good to feel them and then let them go. I use The Sedona Method for this, a really simple tool, and free to start (I do recommend the book!). When things don’t go your way, you need to give up control and find another way. Basic problem solving really. It is amazing to know that you can be really happy even when the doo-doo is hitting the fan.
BTW - We now have our porn on the wall for our Latin American Adventure 2013/14. Still waiting for Bob to finish reading your book.
That is a great idea, to host a night of TED talks. With their HD videos, it is almost like hosting a personal symposium in your home! Great post.
That is a great idea, to host a night of TED talks. With their HD videos, it is almost like hosting a personal symposium in your home! Great post.
Dan Gilbert’s talk was fascinating, but the geek in my was constantly disturbed at his SLOW computer, and the paleolithic cellphone he had clipped to his belt. I had to go to TED.com to find the video and discover that it was filmed 9 years ago…
*me
Dan Gilbert’s talk was fascinating, but the geek in my was constantly disturbed at his SLOW computer, and the paleolithic cellphone he had clipped to his belt. I had to go to TED.com to find the video and discover that it was filmed 9 years ago…
*me