Remember those days when you wanted to be an astronaut, dig your way to China, or become a professional athlete? As a kid, you didn’t know you couldn’t be what you wanted. When someone asked, you simply told them: “I want to be president.”
It isn’t until we reach adulthood that we begin making excuses, visualizingobstacles, and giving in to what’s available instead of what we want. It took Warren and me almost 30 years to recapture the dreams of our 8-year-old selves. A visit to Warren’s mom this week in Colorado reminded us how we had come full circle.
Transcript
March 19, 1979: The Train That Went Around the World
Once upon a time there was a little train and he liked to travel. One day he said to himself: “I want to go around the world.” So he went home and asked his mother and father. They both said, “Yes.” So he kissed them and he was off around the world. He did not get back til March 29, 1979. When he got back he told all friends about the big trip. The End.
It’s pretty amazing that a guy who ended up traveling the world in his 40s had the first germ of the idea when he was just 8 (even if he mistakenly believed he could do it in just 10 days).
You probably have dreams like that, too. Maybe you were a train or a princess or a monster, but you can remember what you wanted so much back then. I read the Boxcar Children books as a kid and always imagined living lean and by my own wits while solving great mysteries. My life today is not too far off the mark.
We are often asked how you know what you want to do with your life:
According to the Center for Disease Control, about 4 out of 10 Americans have not discovered a satisfying life purpose. Forty percent either do not think their lives have a clear sense of purpose or are neutral about whether their lives have purpose. Nearly a quarter of Americans feel neutral or do not have a strong sense of what makes their lives meaningful. ~ The Atlantic, There’s More to Life Than Being Happy
Dream Like a Child
One clue, a start down the path, would be to revisit your childhood dreams. What did you want to do back then, even if it is so fantastical you know it couldn’t happen today? Whatever it is, it will reveal the root of what got you so excited at age 8 and what can reinvigorate you today.
Tell us in the comments: What did you want to do when you were 8?
Every week we tackle dreaming in a practical way in our newsletter. Sign up here for your non-caffeinated but totally energized Sunday morning life wake-up. (Coffee not included.)
About Betsy
I always wanted to travel. I also wanted to write a book. I have now done both. I sailed 34,000 miles over seven years on a 31-foot boat. Our voyage was rich beyond my wildest dreams. And when we returned I decided to write a book about it. Now that book, TIghtwads on the Loose: A Seven Year Pacific Odyssey is garnering great reviews and selling well. There is something incredibly empowering about declaring what you want to do and then each day taking some step in that direction. Before long that goal is within reach and things that once seemed like a fantasy have become a part of your life. Somehow I discovered that pushing through my fears is what makes me feel alive and is also what makes those fears disappear.
You’ve definitely had a fantastic journey, Wendy. And there is so much power in declaring what you want out loud. It’s almost like it doesn’t exist until you verbalize it, even to yourself. But once the cat’s out of the bag…look out!
That. Is. SO. Cool. I love it when stuff like this happens
It was fun looking through Warren’s old school papers as he and his mom were decluttering the office (I feel like we should be on a decluttering tour of the US since that’s all Warren’s been doing since we got here ;)) You should see the “stop to-do” list I found from his 8-year-old self. Warren was into personal growth long before he was fully grown!
Fun post and what great question. I can’t even remember being 8 (laugh)
That’s OK, I don’t have to. I can still Dream Like a Kid!
That’s the attitude, Maria!
Be careful what you wish for, Betsy - before you know it people will be calling to make appointments for Warren to come tackle their clutter!
The story is amazing. I started a novel in the fifth grade in a black-and-white marble notebook and am just getting back to it now. But this is such a great idea to spark the thought process for people who may feel stuck in life. It also makes me wonder out of all of my son’s crazy ideas today, which one will still make him excited when he gets older.
Great post!
What a great opportunity, Kathleen - to reconnect with your childhood dreams (which you are obviously following as a writer) and to encourage your son as he dreams. You just never know where his crazy ideas will take him - but being on his side and encouraging his dreams from the start means he likely won’t get sidetracked as easily as most of us do. You go, mom!
I almost made it to what I wanted to be when I was 8, and I have been struggling with the lack of doing it ever since! Betsy and Warren, did you ever hear of the fascinating series of documentaries where the premise, “show me a child of 7, and I will show you the adult” was pondered? Basically, the idea that by the age of 7, people know what their innate desires and passions are. The documentary has followed most of this group of kids, every 7 years in their lives. So, the last film was made when the people were 56 years old. I highly recommend it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Up_Series
Julie, I had forgotten all about this series! I haven’t actually watched it, but I know of it and need to see it. Thanks for the very timely reminder. I’m a sucker for all these studies that follow people throughout their lives, like the Framingham Heart Study that ended up telling researchers so much about the importance of social relationships. This kind of info is fascinating.
So tell me, what stopped you from being almost there, and why haven’t you gone back to it if you were so close?
Betsy,
I love this. I think it’s funny because we don’t ask ourselves the question nearly enough. But probably more than any other time, when we’re adults is when we should be asking ourselves “What do you want to be when you grow up?” For far too many people there’s a gap between the dream and reality. But we can do things to bridge that gap. It won’t happen overnight or maybe even 10 days, but if we move in that direction we’ll get there.
Srini, did you want to surf when you were a kid? Or become the knowledge hub of your peers? If so, you nailed it!
You know, we all joke about what we want to be when we grow up, but we don’t often take the question seriously and we should. From the mouths of babes…
I can’t immediately remember about the age of 8… But during my teenage years I spent lot of nights sitting near the window with my eyes closed, listening to the music in the headphones and imagining I am driving a car on a road to a new place. Just me, the car, the road and the music.
Now I think of your question and I realize that it may be it: this year I go to the US, I have at least two cities to visit and I’ve been recommended to rent a car to drive around - why not to go from one city to the other with the car? But I am very scared of (1) running out of money and (2) something happening in between the cities… and (3) missing my airplane if I extend the trip to cover the whole West Coast.
Any advice?
Anatoly, I love the image of sitting near the window with my eyes closed listening to music and dreaming of new places. In fact, that sounds like a great start to a book….
As for your question, the best way to travel in the US is by car (I wish I could say train because I love trains, but our system is not as comprehensive as in other countries and much harder and more expensive to criss-cross the country). I don’t know where you live, but you can pretty easily estimate your expenses in the US by doing a little online research - and know that outside the big cities it is far less expensive. And with a rental car, GPS, cell phone, internet, and service companies, even if you do get lost or have a bit of car trouble it will only be minutes before you get help. It will be a great adventure, and you can use sites like Couchsurfing to find locals who are willing to help you along on your trip. Enjoy! (and thanks for sharing your dream)
I have always wanted to be a put together woman. Confident, independent, and strong. I would travel the world painting and sketching what I see. Being welcomed every where I go. To give the USA the warnings of how they are destroying the earth and its peoples. There is a better way, the old ways. That would be my mantra to help in some small way to give freedom to the land of the free.
What a great story about knowing early on your purpose in life! I find the same holds true for adulthood. My first “real” job after university and a few years of teaching English overseas was for a multinational public relations agency. I started in April, and looking back through my journals 6 years later, I can see I was already writing about how it wasn’t the right fit and how I was miserable by June, only 3 months after I’d started the job! It took me two years before I left that job, and then another 2 years until I left the very similar job I’d gone to, before heading off on an adventure to figure things out. I still haven’t figured things out, but am getting a lot closer, and I have to wonder if it would have taken me this long if I’d just listened to myself in the first place!
Ahhhh dreaming is a major component of creativity and creation. Dreaming gives us vitality, it fortifies, it nourishes us, keeps us healthy and young.
When we stop dreaming or envisioning the possibilities for our life we become stagnant and disenchanted sometimes even depressed or stuck. Dreaming does not mean that you must figure out the details of how the dream is to manifest. No child goes to that trouble or stress. Actually the “figuring it out” is what causes the blocks and stopping of the dream. Just dream it, put it out there to the universe. Hold true to the vision with no worry and let the magic happen.
I can remember being 12 and wanting to become a lawyer. Now I am a lawyer and I want to be something else - lol! At least, I have proven to myself that I can pursue and achieve my dreams. However, I am having a hard time discovering what I want to be when I grow up. I am learning how to start the discovery process through wonderful people like you! I am scared of (but ready for) change.