“It must be nice to put your life on hold like that. What will you do when you get back?”
We hear this phrase a lot these days, and it always sort of bugs me.
Here’s the thing: Our lives are not on hold.
I have no idea what we’ll do at the end of this trip - where we’ll live, how we’ll make a living, or even when we’ll stop traveling. Hell, I don’t even know what we’ll be doing a week out, usually.
But I do know what we’re doing each day, even more so than when we lived in Seattle.
Part of this is because traveling long-term means you have to do that - there are dozens of decisions to be made each day simply because you don’t have the luxury of a home and a job and a routine. Every single meal, where we sleep at night, where to find the supplies we need in a new town, how we fill our days - each day is a blank slate.
We are living our lives more intentionally now because we have to think every single day about what we want to do and how we want to spend our time and attention.
You don’t have to travel around the world to live like that, though you do have to work at it a bit more.
Because we are now at the beginning of the year and making our list of resolutions, I thought you might want to think on this a bit.
Know why? Because your life isn’t on hold either.
Life still happens, every second of every day, and the only alternative to living your life is, well, not being alive.
We get really caught up in the end result - where we’ll be when we lose weight/finish school/get the promotion/fall in love/raise the kids/pay off our debt/retire - that we sometimes neglect the *process* of actually living.
And then we get to that magical date in the future and wonder why our dreams never quite panned out.
I cannot tell you what we’ll be doing in 4 years any more than you can tell me what you’ll be doing in 4 years. I certainly couldn’t have told you 4 years ago that we’d have sold everything to travel the world.
My point is that there is no hold button. All the actions that you do every single day make up the life you are living, and if you don’t like where you are, the easiest and most effective thing you can do is change your daily actions to conform to the life you want.
Let me say that one more time: The easiest and most effective thing you can do is change your daily actions to conform to the life you want.
Small is the new big, and paying attention to how you spend your days now will reap huge rewards in your future.
Your life is happening right now, whether you are in an ideal place or not, and by paying attention to the right now you immediately give yourself a better shot at the future you want.
We wish you all a very happy new year full of living in the present, enjoying your family, friends, and surroundings, and leaving the world a better place than when you found it.
*FYI: You can’t.
About Betsy
What a great message! I am so happy to hear that you guys are feeling the present. Sometimes I wonder if it is our internal over analytical selfs that make us always look to the future and not enjoy the present or if it is the society we live in?
Do you find that the people you meet in Latin America also want to know what your next plan is, or is it just westernized folk? We recently took our first car trip with the kids… 15 hour car ride with a 1 and 3 year old. We have so much going on I can’t even begin to describe it, but we both relaxed and had such a fun time. We didn’t worry about the weather, the traffic or the unknown. We had such a great time. I can’t tell you how awesome it felt to just “be” with them. Happy travels!
Paz, what a great trip for you and your kids! You know, travel is the perfect metaphor for living life in the moment - you have to focus as much on the journey as you do the destination. And when your kids are small I suspect it is doubly important.
This is a great post. Very inspirational…
In terms of the question what we’re going to do when we get back — the question is too remote in the future we can’t answer it. But somehow it makes us look a little irresponsible and haphazard to the questioner — at least that’s the sense that I got. Do you know what I mean?
I do know what you mean, and I think most people who ask are looking for an answer to their own questions about how life continues after they follow a dream. But for the most part these questions come from Americans. Everyone else just wants to know about our families, what our country is like, and where we have been and where we are going. Work is almost always the last question anyone from outside the US asks us.
Beautifully said!
I definitely need to try harder to live in the moment, and not for the future.
I tend to always be focused on my next trip… when? where?
And basically wishing the days away, while I live and work in a city that I do not love. But, this is where my life is right now, and I need to accept that.
Something to add to the ‘resolutions list’ I’ve been coming up with.
Happy New Year!
That is the thing, Angie. If you have chosen to work there, there must be something worthwhile in your city. Maybe it is time to do a little exploring with an open mind? Or perhaps start working on a plan to move? Only you can say…
Loved this! So true. It also summed up for me why I love to travel so much and be on the move in new places. It truly does force me to live intentionally and fully engage. At home in the routine you do just move from thing to thing on autopilot. Happy New Year!
Travel is sort of the default way of living in the moment, isn´t it? Sometimes I just want to make my own coffee in the morning, but without a kitchen it means the decisions and attention start first thing in the morning!
Excellent post.
Having some goals in life is “good,” but focusing on the destination of reaching those goals, at the expense of living in the here and now, causes us to miss most of what life offers.
Whether or not we attempt to “stand still” . . . life continues to move forward.
http://nrhatch.wordpress.com/2010/08/15/this-is-your-life/
Glad that you are making the most of these moments.
You said it! We can try to stand still, but life still keeps moving forward. Thanks for sharing your post with us.
I think most people “get it” that life is for living now and tomorrow is not guaranteed.
But, the issue is not so much as what will you “do” afterward, isnt it what will you do for money? I mean, sure tomorrow may never come, but it probably will come. You plan to spend large amounts of capital travelling over the next four years. I dont know, maybe you have enough to retire or not to worry about money, so I can sort of see why people wonder about what happens after your trip, and I am wondering too:)
Sue, we founds jobs when we were looking before, and I am pretty sure we will find jobs when we look again. We are not independently wealthy people, but this past few years has totally redefined the way we look at money - how much we really need to live, especially. We saved enough for this trip, but we do have to find a way to make money to live when it is over. The goal after the trip is to find jobs that contribute to our lifestyle, not creating a lifestyle that fits our paychecks. We need far less to do that than we thought we did.
I am pretty sure we all worry about money to some degree.
Daaayum! This post says everything I’ve been trying to say in my incoherent ramblings, but lack the ability to express — Thank God you can!
“Putting your life on hold”????? 99.7% of us are numbly going through the motions and couldn’t remember what we had for breakfast because we’re living so much on “autopilot”.
The “putting life on hold” comment must TRULY be a real kick in the “tacoyeki’s” (figuratively speaking of course … um… particularly in your case Betsy as you’re a gal
), especially since it absolutely illustrates how little they “get” what you’ve done: You haven’t paused your life … fucryinoutloud you’re finally living it! (Not that you weren’t before … but now you’re truly building your shack at Walden Pond with your own blistered hands and sucking the marrow out of life in a way few will ever dare to imagine let alone actually do! ) **
Once again, thanks for setting the example for us all!
T
** PS. Sorry for waxing Thoreau! lol!
I think we need a Tranquisms Alarm Clock with motivational messages to start each day
Seriously, Tranque, my tacoyekis (yes, I have them) are sore from hearing that comment. But mainly because I do not care what people think of my life - I want them to get it for their own lives! Mine has not stopped, and neither will yours, or hers, or his, or anyone else´s. Time marches on whether we are with the band or not.
Funny side note on Walden Pond - we were there a few years ago and saw the little shack…he didn´t need much, did he? I, for one, would still like to have running water.
Well, I was going to say exactly that but Tranque said it for me! Most people *are* already living *as if* their lives were on hold! In other words, they are not living, you are!
Finally some guidance for the rest of us still at our desks, and wondering why! Great message - keep ‘em coming.
You can make a pretty fantastic life at your desk with the right project, K.
I have no doubt you will work out where you are supposed to be.
Preach on Sister!
You know my not-so-secret goal is to start my own tax-exempt religion, so I will appoint you the first “caller.” (Do not worry - it is a paid position in my religion.) The religion will be all about following your dreams…after you tithe 50% to me, of course.
Couldn’t have said it better sister! So glad to hear you say this - it really is a challenge for many of us….living is what it is ALL about!
Continued adventures!
Debb, with your daily meditation and gratitude journal, you are one of the best examples I have of fully living each day. It doesn´t take road trip to make it happen if you are mindful of doing it in your everday life. Thanks for setting the standard.
We were often asked about what are you going to do when you get back to the “real world.” We had to keep telling people we never left it, just made it more of what we really wanted. We were also often asked what are you going to do for money (find work?) and this always struck me as a bit odd that others seem concerned about our income.
You know, my dad and brother are two of the most stable guys I know in terms of loyalty to a company and career, and both have had sudden layoffs with no warning. You can do everything the normal way and still have things not work out, so I don´t think what we´re doing is really that much riskier. I´ve also found that when people express concern about an aspect of our lifestyle it really mirrors their own biggest concerns, which is logical.
Also, funny that the ¨real world¨to them is the one they know best, not the actual ¨real world¨ that is out there waiting to be discovered.
Well, here I have a confession to make. I was once one of those people who considered a year out, but was always stumped about what I’d do on my return. In the end I took the plunge. On my travels in Thailand and Malaysia I met a number of people taking time out to travel the world, and I would say 99% had no idea what they’d do on their return. In the end I realized it’s not about what happens when you get home, it’s all about the transformation that takes place during that time away from the day-to-day routine of a job. That time out lets you grow, and creates a quiet space into which the reality of who you are can enter. The stories of what those people I met went on to do are extraordinary and inspiring. One guy I met left as a middle-manager, and came back a professional sailor. One guy never went home (a former mechanic), he started his own diving operation in Thailand. A divorced woman who was previously a house wife became a travel writer based in Kuala Lumpur, writing reviews of hotels, spas, and health retreats, and travelled all over Asia. Another guy I met was a former accountant who ended up becoming a professional wine list designer! I mean, I didn’t even know there were wine list designers! In other words, who knows, who cares, just enjoy doing something different!
Tony, I love that you met so many interesting people on your trip. I agree that you just have to be open to the experience and see where it takes you. We have a few ideas bubbling right now, and it will be fun to explore how they can work out long-term in terms of making enough money to continue living this way.
I quit my professional job and went travelling, it wasnt so much the travelling part that I enjoyed but it was the freedom. The money ran down and I realised that I had to do something to earn money again, but it is not as easy as it sounds. I was not fit to re-enter the professional office grind job, or any job really with full time hours. I had adjusted too much to living the free life, and being in my early 40′s middle aged I just wasnt that attractive to potential employers. The burger flipping jobs didnt really pay enough to live on, well not enough to run a small home etc.
In hindsight I wished I had scaled back on the travel a bit and had focused more on trying to achieve permanent freedom ie retirement of some sort.
IMHO I think post travel adjustment is different or easier? for people in their 20′s as opposed to people in their 40′s.
Rob: I can completely understand that. I had much the same experience. While taking time off was very liberating and I really enjoyed the freedom and travel, eventually the money ran out, and in my case I went back to my old line of work to pay the bills. Like you, I decided to put more effort into achieving a more permanent freedom - that is basically what I’ve been working on for the last 7 years - nearly there!
[Good news is if I was doing this again I reckon I could do it in half the time!] 
I do think it is a bit different in our 40s as opposed to the 20-something travelers we meet, but traveling with an end goal at least in mind helps. We know we have some time to enjoy the trip, but we also know we have to make a living when it is over and we are continually bouncing around ideas to make that happen.
Tony also makes a good point that becoming financially free is a long-term process…we can all start working on that right now, no matter what our situation. I think always having that goal top of mind opens your eyes to ideas and projects you might not consider if it was just a far-off dream.
Good luck in your quest to work independently, Rob!
Okay, weird. I was SURE that this was written by Warren. Oh well. I totally agree with you - who knows what any of us will be doing in 4 years. In this day and age, the possibilities are endless (both great and not-so-great). I like the idea of being very mindful each day. Very cool concept that traveling teaches that awareness. Love you, B and W!
WONDERFUL post… When we announced we were quitting our jobs and selling our house in 2007 friends wished us well but thought we had completely lost our minds…one even asked if I was just ‘over-reacting’ to the death of my mother! I told him no, but certainly her death at age 65 pushed us even more to grab life and live it to the fullest every day because none of us know when our time is up.
We have never once regretted a single second of our 14mths on the road , even coming back to a bad economy and lower paying job. We’re now in full planning mode for when we leave again, hopefully in 2 years for our roadtrip down the Panamerican highway and, once again, friends think we’re a bit nuts to leave behind the “comforts and stability” of home. They just don’t understand that every single day - even while we enjoy the comfort of our bed and guaranteed hot shower- ever fiber of our being wants to be out in the world…meeting new people, eating new food, discovering new things and, in the process, truly feeling right with the world. We have a great life but we had never been happier than during that time.
One of my very favorite quotes is: HE WHO JUMPS INTO THE VOID OWES NO EXPLANATION TO THOSE WHO STAND AND WATCH… truer words were never spoken. I know you’re enjoying this experience too much to ever let the naysayers get you down but remember, many people are just jealous because they don’t have to guts to live life intentionally rather than following along the expected path.
Go for it guys and continue to inspire others to think outside the box!
betsy, YES!
If you let yourself be trapped in a bad situation, it would be very difficult for you to do everything you want in life. I know how hard it is to deal with problems while focusing on reaching all your dreams. But once you’ve passed this greatest challenge of your life, everything will be fine.
Samantha, I thinks there is always going to be some level of challenge in life. The key is realizing that you have the choice to keep moving forward anyway.
Brilliant post. I love the point you make about people planning their futures so much that they forget to fully live their lives right now in the present. We should have an eye to what happens after tomorrow, but the present is always all we have.
Many - most people I think - make excuses for not travelling, or in some cases, even changing anything in their lives. Job, promotion, stability, kids, mortgage, parents, friends… The fact is people always find excuses for not doing what they basically aren’t really interested in doing.
I think we should always live our lives right now the way we really want them to be. The “ideal day” or “perfect day” concept. Don’t wait until retirement/paid off the mortgage/kids grown up/won the lottery.. People also tell themselves they aren’t worthy of it yet, or they haven’t yet “earned” the ideal life they really want. It’s all just postponement and excuses!
I’m the same age group and I spent almost 5 years in the same job until a couple of years ago when I quit to take a gap year and go travelling. That doesn’t mean my life is “on hold”. But when I was working 9-5 for nearly 5 years, time was going by, year in year out and I wasn’t living it how I really wanted it, I was just staying “on hold”. I’ve pledged to myself that I will never do that again!
Kevin, there is no time like the present - for anything and everything. Planning has its place, but planning instead of action is just “mental masturbation” (as a former boss once told me). It may feel good, but it doesn’t really produce anything.
And you make a great point - there is not ever going to be a perfect day to do something. You don’t even have to make big changes all at once - little changes frequently over time add up to your ideal lifestyle if you just take that first step.
Thanks for commenting. I’m going to check out your manifesto now!