Today I am celebrating my 40th birthday. Last year I wrote a post reflecting on my life but this year I thought I would do something a bit different and flash forward 40 years to invision what life looks like from 80.
Today I turn 80 years old and looking back I realize I have some amazing memories of people I’ve met, places I’ve seen, and experiences that make me smile. However, it has been the last 4 decades that make me twitch with excitement as I reflect on all that has happened and the crazy path my life has taken. A little over 40 years ago Betsy and I set off on the journey that would change our lives, but neither of us had any idea just how much. We sold everything we owned to explore the world for a couple years, yet here we are decades later sitting in a cafe in Christchurch, New Zealand reflecting on a life we could never have imagined.
We never did return to the United States to live full time though I cannot say it was an active decision. Each time we were ready something would pull us towards a new destination, yet it is impossible to tell you what it was. We have now spent half our lives traveling the globe and meeting amazing people along the way. Over the years we have “lived” in many countries, including England, Scotland, Argentina, Japan, New Zealand, Russia, Kuala Lampur, Ireland, Germany, and Philippines but visited dozens more. Each new destination brought experiences I now cherish but it is how we traveled that makes me smile today.
Let Others Know What You Want
In looking back I discovered that most of my experiences were shaped because I let others know what I wanted. Sometimes it was as simple as telling someone about our desire to sail across the Pacific while other times it was the willingness to ask for something that most people thought was silly. I realize now that this approach has sent my life in some incredible directions and I became forever grateful of the unexpected.
There are hundreds of examples small and large to share, but the most vivid occured when I was 47. We were in Hong Kong chatting with a couple about the importance of asking for what you want. We described some of the experiences we had had as a result and I mentioned my desire to write a book about the concept to share it with others. Months later we found out that her closest friend worked in a publishing house in London and she contacted me to hear more about our experience. In the end Betsy and I wrote “The Art of the Ask”, which reached #1 on the “London Times” best seller list, to inspire others to be willing to ask for what they want in life.
Years later while living in Australia I decided to learn how to scuba dive at 55 years old. I mentioned my desire to learn while at our local pub and the owner of a local dive school/tour company overhead me. He said he’d be happy to teach and over the next year we became close friends. When Dave decided to retire I asked if he would let me take over his dive school business, something we had never discussed. I thought it would be fun to give back to others the amazing experience Dave had shared with me. After a few days of consideration Dave agreed and for the next 3 years I ran a diving school and tour business in Australia. I could never have predicted this opportunity, but it would not have happened if I had not been willing to share my goal out loud.
Amazing Experiences
It would be impossible to list even a fraction of the wonderful things I have seen and done. Sitting down to write this I am overwhelmed with memories of sights, smells, and exhilaration from moments that have spanned 4 decades and bring laughter and tears to my eyes. However, the common thread throughout has been how much our experiences were shaped by sharing our desires with others:
- When I was 52 we were visiting friends in Seattle and I told a friend about our desire to sail across the Pacific on a yacht. He introduced us to his friend that had a boat that he wanted to have sailed to New Zealand and we jumped at the opportunity. I can still taste the salt air from those months at sea.
- For my 60th birthday I wanted to start a big project. I mentioned this vague goal to the owner of the small bed & breakfast we helped run one year. She told us about her amazing time hiking the Italian coastline. She shared with us her route and all the tips she had. On the morning of my 60th we left for a 6 month hike down the Italian coastline, finishing with a month in Capri. What an amazing experience of history, sights, and gastronomy.
- Climbed Mt Kilimanjaro thanks to a guide we met in South Africa. I asked if he would be willing to guide us up the mountain for my 70th birthday. Not only did he agree to the request, he provided us with a private guided tour in exchange for my photographs of the experience. You really are never too old to follow a dream
- I had my photography included in several magazines (including National Geographic, Time, & Wanderlust) thanks to my amazing wife. She always knew this was my passion and after years of nudging she submitted my photos to a friend of a friend. I am so happy to have had the opportunity to share a part of my experiences with the world through my pictures.
I am Happy
I am a lucky man, but in looking back I realize that I had to work to create the luck around me. It never came to me without knowing what I wanted to achieve and proudly stating this to anyone who would listen. I never knew who might be willing or able to help, but the importance was telling others what I wanted.
I look back at the last 40 years knowing that I have no regrets at all for what I have done and what I have not. However, my list of ambitions continues to grow and I am not going to stop taking advantage of each day. Whether it is sail across an ocean or write a book, let people know. The more people that are supporting you and aware of your goals the more likely you will find people that can help you achieve them.
How would you like to experience the next 40 years? Who will you tell about these desires? What is keeping you from sharing them today?
About Warren
A very interesting perspective - sounds like you have an incredible life all mapped out!!
It is indeed awesome how the universe does usually seem to conspire to help you get what you want…”just ask for it” is going to be a slogan that I hope to embody on our trip…thanks for the inspiration….
and of course…HAPPY BIRTHDAY WARREN!!!!!
Thank you guys for the note and well wishes. I have had some wonderful experiences in my first 40 years thanks to the idea of telling others what I want. If nothing else it makes for a great conversation.
Ooh, what a good post, Warren. I love it
A birthday wish for you…may all your dreams come true! And if you ever put southern Ontario, Canada on your “exotic places to visit” list (hey, at least I’m not far from Niagara Falls), love to meet you & Betsy 
Joanna, we would love to visit you and spend some time exploring that part of the world. Just yesterday we were reading about a long hike that heads through your part of the woods that we’d love to try. We’d love to meet you as well.
Happy Bday!!! If you get the chance to go to the west coast of Scotland. Go to a little town called Plockton. It even has palm trees and is so so beautiful. It’s interesting driving there. Typical Scottish country driving. Enjoy the next 40 and more!!!
Jackie, thank you so much for the recommendation. We love to “plan” our trip solely based on other people’s recommendation and we absolutely will put this on our list of things we must do. We are loving the country after just a few days and excited to see more.
Wow Warren, I have tears in MY eyes just reading your post. Congratulations on turning 40 in such a spectacular way! I look forward to seeing how the next 40 years actually turns out.
Michelle, it makes me so happy to know that my post could have an impact on you. I struggled with this post for some time trying to get my thoughts across in a way that was intentional and heart felt. I am delighted to know that you liked it as that makes it worthwhile for me. Thank you.
Neato, Warren!!! This is really cool and I have no doubt that your life will be a series of thrills. As for me, my dream is to be able to spend every January in Hawaii. In 40 years I hope to be surrounded by my step-kids, grandchildren, and even great-children, like one of those story-teller images from the Southwest.
PS - Happy to hear we will see you in 12 years!
Love to you both!
January in Hawaii sounds wonderful. When do you start? We could certainly find a way to get to Hawaii in a January. Your biggest challenge will be getting us to leave. I love your vision for the future and have no doubt you will make it happen.
PS - don’t worry we’ll see you well before 12 years.
Love you, too.
We don’t have an ETA yet. We’re both rejiggering our businesses so that we can serve more people and not be burned out. Super excited. I’m thinking membership site. Will keep you posted.
Happy Birthday Warren!! I really like this post. It’s so true that our dreams and goals in life need the light of the day and fresh air which they can only get when voiced to others. Dreams don’t just happen, we make them happen with the help and empowerment of others in our lives.
My family and I are working hard to depart to Indonesia in September and start the next chapter in our lives. My plan for 2012 is to ride motorcycles across Indonesia (Sumatra to Bali) with a good friend. We’ve had so much help and support all because we voiced our desires and dreams.
Matt, we seem to be kindred spirits in our passion for life and I love that. We are following along on your preparation and so excited for you all. It is going to be a huge leap but knowing that you are following your dream makes it right.
WOW, motorcycles across Indonesia! You are brave and now you are inspiring me to explore a big audacious adventure. I cannot wait to hear more about this and how we can help support you in this.
Happy birthday Warren! What a great life you’ve had (and will continue to have - 80 is so young these days!). It was great meeting you when you ran the dive school in Oz - actually it was lovely to meet you both, although I’m just sorry I didn’t take the opportunity to dive. Anyway back to the real world
we leave on our trip to Canada and Alaska in two days and I’m really looking forward to that, and hoping to take on board some of the great vibes from you and Betsy on your travels. We’re not quite as adventurous and are doing tours but it’s still outside of my comfort zone to travel half way around the world and take a cruise as well!
Judy, nicely done adding in meeting us there in Australia. We were just happy you let us stay with you for some many months;)
Please let us know all about your adventure to Alaska as we would love to know all about the experience. StepPing outside your comfort zone is such a huge step and we fully understand. The only thing that matters is that it is YOUR comfort zone so be proud you are doing it. Have a wonderful time and please share the experience.
Profound. Truly. That IS how it works! (At least when you’re open to it.) Fantastic post. When you start to live your life stating your intentions loud and clear with the complete expectation that all kinds of crazy, magical, highly unlikely events can and will fall into place to make it happen . . . it does! It starts to get woo woo weird! lol!! Then one day something completely outlandish that you couldn’t have planned in a million years happens to make something else fall into place that allows you to experience exactly what you had been hoping for . . . well . . . you know you should be blown away because it is just so damn crazy how it all worked out! But you’re not blown away because the bottom line is deep-down you expected it to happen. You didn’t know HOW . . . but you knew it would. (But you’re still humbled and filled with gratitude every time no matter how expected it was!) And when you try to explain it to other people they often start to slowly and carefully back away as if what you might have could be contagious. (Its like, “Honey, I’ll distract him while you get the car started and the kids loaded in . . .”
Happy 40th (or should I say 80th?)
Tranque, thank you for the insightful comments. I love getting your feedback and knowing more and more how aligned we are in our pursuit of our dreams.
I agree completely that the idea of telling people what you want (and then having it happen) seems crazy and I do have people look at me funny. But, given how much it happens that we meet someone that is able/willing to help us achieve our dreams the more I know it is true.
Thank you for taking the time to open the dialog. We cannot wait to finally meet you.
I’m really looking forward to the day that we can kick back together with you two and Yumi and I can hear some of the stories of your travels . . . perhaps some of the ones that would never make it into here.
lol!
that is just so cool…you are one smart cookie!
Karen, it is because I have a friend like you that my life is so full. Give Katy my love and then get your ass over here to visit us!
Warren, thank you so much for this post. I have been following you and Betsy since last year, and I’m often inspired by your blog. This one really resonates: I think I have some dreams, but almost none of them is as specific and life-changing as what you envisioned the rest of your life to be. I have some thinking and writing to do, and I can’t wait!
Kristen, I am delighted that the words resonated. It is hard to share your dreams with people as I find that as long as you don’t tell anyone it is easier not to be hurt or disappointed if you don’t acheive them. However, after years of doing that I realized that there is so much help out there if I just let myself be open to it. The result is better than I could have possibly imagined and I am now living my dream. For me it’s been easier to live with everyone knowing my dreams even if I don’t acheive them than never trying in the first place.
Good luck in the process and please share them with us when you are ready. We’d love to help.
Thanks again, Warren - and I’ll let you and Betsy know when I have my dream list!
I have said since you left you will never return - and I think that means more than geography.
I wish you 140 more years of love, light and insight. Be well friend.
You know us so well! We don’t know what the future holds but are pretty sure the next time we see you and the Mayor will not be in Seattle. Hope we can coordinate a place to celebrate life soon. Thank you for the nice wishes and please send my love over to the Mayor.
Warren, Happy 40th Birthday. I have been reading your blog and following your travels with great interest. My husband and I are planning to travel extensively in retirement, which is only a couple of years away. I can’t wait to hit the road. Maybe our paths will cross somewhere out there in the years to come. In the meantime, I will continue to follow your travels for inspiration. Thanks for sharing your adventure with all of us back home.
Eleanor, thank you for the birthday wishes. I know you are so excited about your retirement and love to hear that you all are already planning. We’d love to meet you in person out here in the big world. Please keep us updated as the date approaches and let us know where you are going. We are so flexible these days and know we can connect in person.
Have fun planning the big leap.
Warren,
Happy Birthday! It was wonderful to meet you and Betsy at storytelling in Edinburgh. I love that your blog is so much more than a travelogue. There is so much here to inspire and encourage, even for those who aren’t choosing the specific way of “living the dream” that you two are.
I’m back in NYC where full-size futon in my quite modest digs awaits if you’re end up in town (I’m not too far from the 2 airports, either.)
I look forward to reading about your continuing adventures (and amazing budgeting). Enjoy Edinburgh and the Wall! I’m already missing the weather, of all things, if you can believe it - it is 85 degrees here today, and, of course, humid.
Best
~Andrea
http://www.bigapplebaroque.org/FQ.php
Andrea, it is wonderful to hear from you. We loved meeting you and hearing your amazing song during the story telling night here in Edinburgh. You and your sister have inspired us to get up at the next event and participate rather than sitting back and watching. We tell everyone that you guys were the lives of the event.
We will absolutely take you up on the futon there in NY and would love to see you sing as well while we are there.
Next up is the tough decision about whether to go to the Mongolian throat singing concert or another story-telling event on June 10th. Big decisions;)
Stay cool.
First I have to say Happy Birthday!!!
Second…. I am so intrigued by your post. My husband and I were just having this conversation the other day.
So I have a question for you. Do you really think it is always wise to show all your cards to everyone? I think about this question on a daily basis and I am very interested in your response.
I sometimes don’t feel like I should show or tell all of our cards or plans because I fear the criticism that comes with telling someone what you want in life. Like many of your goals or ambitions ours are very different than buying the newest minivan model. We hope to accomplish many things outside of the box.
I don’t enjoy having our ideas and or ambitions shot down by people. I find it extremely discouraging and I admit that I let it affect me more than I should. Maybe it is because I am not as confident as I should be.
So I find that I keep our goals and ambitions a secret until they are close to being a reality. This way when they are saying how “bad” our idea is or how “unlikely” that is to happen I am able to respond with “well we are actually almost there”. I am wondering what you thoughts are.
Love the topic and love the post! Thanks again guys!
Paz, we are always happy to answer questions. Feel free to reach out here or drop us an email. We love to help if/when we can.
Excellent question. The short answer is ABSOLUTELY, I think it is wise to tell people your dreams and plans. However, I am assuming you’d like a bit more color on that…
In the past, Betsy and I were both reserved about this for a variety of reasons. Not the least of which is precisely what you mention - people not being supportive. However, over the last several years we have become more and more open with our lives here on the website as well as through all our interactions. The result has been better than we could have imagined. Yes, there are still people that don’t support us. Yes, we still get negative feedback on why we cannot/should not do something. But, this is very rare and is a tiny fraction of the feedback. So many great things have come from us telling others about our plans. People reach out and want to help. People share their stories of doing something similar and give us advice. People are inspired to follow the same challenge and then we get to share the experience as we go. Regardless of the situation, sharing the dream/goal/challenge with others has ended in a positive way.
Of course, it is easy to focus on the negative. There are some things we have talked about doing that we failed to achieve. We could easily shrink back from this and decide not to tell people future plans. But then we would lose the wonderful support system that comes from telling others.
I believe that people want to support others in their goals and ambitions. It is much more common that people will jump into to support you or give you advice for how to achieve your goal. Yes, there may be some negative input but I believe that in every situation the positive will far outweigh the negative. We both received a lot of “less than supportive” responses when we announced our plans to quit our jobs to travel the world. We could have be paralyzed by that and changed our minds. But instead, we focused on the overwhelming amount of support and had some great things happen because we had shared this dream so early.
I could go on and on, but may need to leave the rest for a new blog post. Seems this is kicking my brain into writing mode. Thanks for the inspiration!
Thank you so much for your reply. I am taking what you have written into deap consideration and you and Betsy may have saved us from years of hiding from what we really want. I think I am also going to write about this…I am not yet sure if I can be as open about our dreams. Thank you both very much.
well what a life you are planning for yourself incredible i would be very interested to see just where you end up and what you do but if the dreams and desires you have are any indication wow hang on it just gets better from here. I must say though as a new grandparent I don’t see any children in the mix what a joy they are but also they tend to keep you in one place for a very long time.
Thank you for the comment and support. I have big dreams and ideas for the future, but complete flexibility to allow my life to take on a path I cannot predict. I’m am looking forward to seeing where it will take me.
As for children, this is a decision we made many years ago. We wrote about it here here so you can get a bit more perspective on why we decided not to have any - http://www.marriedwithluggage.com/2009/09/25/is-it-selfish-to-not-have-kids/. While we know that many people love being parents we felt that it was not right for us.
Happy Birthday! That’s a really interesting way to look at things infact I have taken this on board and have started planning my happy memories as to what I have been upto twenty years ahead at 55 as a consequence of reading this post. - thanks!
Hi Leah,
I am so happy to hear that this post resonated with you. It takes me more effort than I care to admit to put all the crazy thoughts in my head into some semblance of rational thought. Thus, when I hear that my story has impacted another person it truly makes my day. I’d love to hear your big plans and am excited to see where the next 20 years will take you.
happy 80th warren. i’m thrilled about your adventures with Betsy and hope we can swap stories from time to time as our paths cross here and there around the world.
Happy belated birthday! I had a similar experience when I turned 30. I had not done much in terms of adventure, so I decided to head out to Africa for an African Safari with my friends. I decided to do my safari in Tanzania as it has such a diverse range of wildlife and stunning landscape. Having spent five days on safari, I kept gazing up in awe at the white tops of Mount Kilimanjaro and thinking how amazing it would be to climb to the top. So my friends and I arranged to climb up to the top, it was truly an unforgettable experience and seeing the sun setting on top of the mountain is something I will never forget! My friends and I booked our African safari adventure with Mahlatini and we would strongly recommend anyone to use them, they were amazing.
Hey Brandon,
Thank you for the heads up. We absolutely have Africa and climbing Mount Kilimanjaro high on our list of dream trips. We plan on doing that in the next few years and have added Mahlatini to our list of recommendations.