Every relationship gets sidetracked by the busy-ness of life, ours included. And in those times when we’re feeling a little disconnected from each other…
slightly run down by the pace…
pulled in too many different directions…
we know how to quickly recenter.
We’re almost a month into the International Love Affair tour for our book, and while we’re having a fantastic time, we have to admit this pace of travel and book promotion is tiring. And when we get tired, it’s easy to let go of some of the daily maintenance in our relationship. Things start to get a little messy, a little less enjoyable.
We have a go-to plan for recentering, which quickly puts us back on track and keeps our disconnect from getting any deeper. Watch below to find out how we recenter on a regular basis, and then let us know in the comments how you do it.
(And if you’re not doing it yet? Pay attention to the comments and see if there’s something in there that appeals to you and try it!)
Click here if you don’t see the video below.
Tell us in the comments, how do you recenter your relationship?
Reader reviews: You won’t want to miss this book—it has the power to challenge and change the common assumption that over time, relationships inevitably grow less exciting and less passionate.” ~ Nancy W.
Exactly! You get us, Nancy, you really do. Thank you for sharing your opinion on Amazon.
And if YOU want to know the full story – how we went from hot to ice cold to hot again – then it’s time to buy your own copy of Married with Luggage: What We Learned About Love by Traveling the World.
About Betsy
My wife Laura & I are celebrating our 21st wedding anniversary in about 3 weeks, and what helps us bet get reconnected is simply getting out of the house together to do something we love, like see a play or concert or enjoy some good craft beer. We have two teenagers and Laura recently started working outside the home again after being a stay-at-home mom and homeschool teacher, so between work and other commitments it can be hard to find time to do stuff together, even in a city like Austin, where there’s always something going on. But what makes it all possible is that we are best friends too, so we genuinely want to spend time together and look for new adventures. Someday we’ll get that romantic Eurail trip too! Thanks for sharing your story and bringing hope and light to struggling marriages!
Hi, Jae. Happy anniversary! Getting out of the house is a great idea. Escaping the chores and responsibilities at home - even just for an hour - can do wonders for a relationship. And in Austin you have a lot of concerts and craft beers to enjoy together.
We live a pretty simple lifestyle in a beautiful woodsy setting on the river. We can sit on the patio having our morning coffee and reconnect, we can enjoy a glass of wine and a good movie and reconnect, or we can go on a date to a local spot with live entertainment and reconnect. I LOVE that your story focuses on the IMPORTANCE of putting each other first in the relationship and I have read your book, Married with Luggage, so I know your story. We are both retired now but I do some consulting and keep it a part time deal. The time with my husband still has got to be the priority. We are at an age where illness can take over and so more and more realize how important our time together is NOW. We did our travelling already and are quite content to be in our beautiful home on the river together….living a simple life….enjoying each moment! Thanks for listening!
Hi, Jeannette. What a tranquil setting! You already know the secret of long-term happiness: the time together has to be a priority, not something you fit in around everything else. I’m imagining the sound of birds singing and a river rushing by as you sit together to enjoy your morning coffee…yep, sounds just about perfect! Thank you so much for sharing your ritual with us.
We reconnect with laughter.
It’s instantaneous, free, portable, and lightweight.
Unlike sex, we can “do it” on planes, trains, and automobiles, or in the middle of a crowded street, without raising eyebrows. Laughter allows us to let go of the detritus of life, gets us back on the same wave length, and returns us to an even keel.
Oh nrhatch, laughter is the best one of all! If you can laugh together, you can get through anything. And I like that you “do it” everywhere!
For Tina and I , this would be a lunch date and the drive to there. We seem to reconnect together in those moments, the kids are not there, nor are our parents and so on, its just us. I reconnect with my goals after a walk and sitting by Lake Erie, She reconnects with her goals while playing her favorite facebook game, we share those goals and work out the together part at the Lunch date and drive. With my goal of traveling and her goal of helping others it will be some work and many lunch dates for us to connect and be happy, but I feel it is more than possible.
Enjoy the time guys,
Fred
Hi, Fred. What’s so sweet about this is not the lunch but including the “drive” to lunch. It’s a private time between the two of you, a prep for the connection ahead at the lunch table. I love this! Thank you for sharing.
Scotty and I have had “our favorite” restaurant in a nearby town for over 10 years now. We’ve been there so much they’ve put our picture up around the bar.
We’ve gone there to talk things out, make decisions big and small, cry, laugh, argue (quietly of course, at times!), and it’s so 2nd nature it feels like home when we walk in there. We’ve branched out to a few different places in the past couple of years, but our favorite way to reconnect is to leave the phone in the car, take a pen to write ideas on napkins, and just imagine that we are the only 2 people in there. We always feel more bonded when we leave. 
Hi, kARA. You’re a “regular!” Having a home away from home is a great suggestion because it’s free of the responsibility of your regular home…plus people bring you food and drink. You can just relax and be together, work out what’s bugging you or celebrate what you’ve accomplished. Even a good whisper fight if needed! Thank you for sharing your special place with us.
I loved your video and the way you interact with each other. I’ve been following you on Facebook for a while. I just bought the Kindle version of your book and look forward to reading it and continuing to follow your adventures! Have fun! Stephanie
Hi, Stephanie. You’ll see very quickly in the book that we didn’t always interact with each other so well! It’s been an incredible journey to get to this point of comfort and ease together, and I think you’ll enjoy the story of how we finally got here. And you’ll want to keep following on Facebook…as we continue the International Love Affair book tour, we’re visiting a goat farm, a “specialty” hotel, a dungeon, and more. Who says romance has to be all flowers and hearts?
PS: We’d love it if you’d leave a review on Amazon when you finish reading. Our goal is 100 reviews by summer’s end!
My husband and I got married almost 3 years ago on the beach in Malibu. We are nature lovers too so it was the perfect setting. The best part is that the beach is always open to the public. We like to picnic there every so often. Every time we are there I feel so connected to that moment and the promises we made to each other.
Hey, Erika. Returning to the scene of the crime is very romantic!
We love this idea…though we chose a less ideal spot to get married at a courthouse in Maryland. You were smart to find a place you could return to again and again.
My husband and I have been married for 26 years. Our way we best connect is by creating new experiences together such as eagle watching over the Delaware Water Gap, seeing how Martin Guitars are made, learning how to make chocolate from the bean to hiking the Salkantay pass in Peru to Machu Picchu. It gives us time together learn together and truly life live. We love to have a glass of wine and think about the new experiences we had that week and add those to our ever growing experiences list. This helps us to stay focused on us and not on things or problems of the day.
Hi, Laurie. Trying new things together is such a great tip! It’s one of our favorites - learning and discovering (and sometimes making mistakes) together. It also builds a bond of teamwork for the other things that happen in life. Thanks for sharing!
My husband and I reconnect by spending time together away from our daughter by playing a board game, talking, and laughing together. It help us to just reconnect by spending quality time together.