Editor’s Note: We publish a lot of articles about going after your dreams. But going overboard in your quest can result in a fracture of the most important relationships in your life. Make sure your dream includes those relationships you’ve worked so hard to build, because it’s pretty lonely enjoying a dream all by your lonesome. We’ll let today’s guest contributor Carrie Powell explain why…
Create balance while still sprinting towards that dream
Whether the dream you are working towards is to start your own business, travel the world, or make extra money on the side while immersed in that hobby you love; I think it’s safe to say that the common denominator of most dreams involves some aspect of freedom. It may be freedom to call the shots and make your own hours, or the time and financial freedom that will allow extended travel to be possible (not to mention being free as a bird, going wherever youheart takes you), or the freedom to simply do what you love. Yes, please!
In my quest for this freedom, I found one of the biggest struggles I was experiencing was keeping my family relationships solid, while still devoting enough time and energy to building my dream, which is to work from anywhere.
Working from anywhere might mean writing on a beach {my favorite place ever} whenever I feel the irresistible spell of the warm sun, salty air, and relaxing sound of crashing waves calling me. Or living somewhere exotically beautiful, and tropical full time, like Belize! Additional facets of my grand vision include doing, talking about, writing about, and being immersed in my passion, helping others, and of course, making a living; but it all starts with the freedom to work from anywhere my destiny is tugging me. That mobile freedom to live as the moment dictates is what will do it for me.
Why Balance Is Essential
Recently, I started noticing fractures in my relationships that were always the result of me working on my dream, while basically ignoring my family! Although my family is pretty supportive of my dream building efforts, I don’t have the freedom to spend my elusive spare time however I feel I “need” to. They will only put up with being invisible for so long. I admit, I’d been pretty consumed. Hell, for a good while, I hadn’t even been present while we we’re all “watching TV” together. My head was stuck in my MacBook 90% of the time. My daughter always complaining to me that I wasn’t really there. My husband constantly getting irritated that I wasn’t listening to him when he wanted to chat about something we were watching. I would try to play it off, like I really did hear what he had just said, but of course I was off on some other cloud {or website!} that only involved me and my dream.
I’ve had to learn to balance paid work time, with dream work time {aka investment for future returns}, and real relationship time. In my case, this relationship time includes engaged family time, undistracted couples time with my husband, and one on one bonding time with my 14 year old daughter.
I have to admit, I am so passionate about writing and organizing, be it home, mind, or time organization, that I love working! I’m fortunate to have this passion, to be driven to succeed in creating my vision, and to have a sense of urgency to make it all happen, but it’s a bit of a curse too. I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I’ve turned into a smidge of a workaholic. {Don’t judge}.
I recently saw an interview with Jim Carrey about a children’s book he just wrote, and something he said really hit home. He talked about how deeply children need their parent’s undivided attention. “It’s the most important thing in the world to a kid. It tells them they mean something; they’re important” said Carrey. As I was watching, I really thought about what he was saying, recognizing that exact need in MY child. Even at 14 going on 18, the need for my undivided attention was just as Carrey described. I felt this truth so deeply that it brought tears to my eyes, thinking of all the children that have and have not experienced this. This connection I had to Jim’s wisdom that day, really made me feel grateful for my recent awareness of balancing relationships with my other life goals. I also think this undivided attention is just as important to give to our partners. Even adults need to feel heard, important, and loved.
If I failed to nurture the most important relationships of have, while working toward my dream, it would be quite lonely there by myself once I arrived, wouldn’t it?!
For a while I had been telling myself that my whole family had to sacrifice, temporarily, for the future payoff of freedom later, but I was wrong. We don’t know what’s around the corner for ourselves, or our loved ones, so we can’t live for the future. Living only in the future, means you’re not living. We have to balance relationships, current responsibilities, smelling the roses, AND creating the future we want. And this IS possible. Here are some strategies that I’ve implemented in my life to create the disciplined time needed to balance it all:
Tips For Balancing Freedom AND Love
- Written, Shared Goals - Keep a goals list in writing, review it regularly, and share them with a friend. People who write down their goals and share them are 33% more successful in completing them.
- Written Relationship Goals - Include relationship goals like date night, girls outing with my daughter, & family bowling night once a month. If you have multiple children, you could rotate who’s turn it is to have your full, one on one attention. Plan out and schedule them on your calendar. It’s important!
- Break Down Goals - For each goal on your list, create a project sheet breaking down the goal into bite size pieces, each with a deadline. Feel free to use my free project planner form to help you with this.
- Scheduled Daily Dream Work Time - Carve out undistracted bubbles of time, for 25 minute blocks each, during your best productivity hours, for goal implementation tasks.
- If you’re a morning person, go to bed earlier and wake extra early for your scheduled dream work time before going to your job. If your more focused at night, schedule dream work time in the evenings, after work.
- Put these on your calendar just like any other important commitment. Then respect this time! If you’re thinking about blowing it off, consider whether you’re ok with blowing off your dream, because it’s doubtful you’ll ever get there without putting in the work.
- Nightly Family Time - Create a regular time slot in the evenings for some family time and stick to it, every night! This means no phone, laptop, or tablet checking. Try to be conscious about engaging your family with real conversation and eye to eye contact. The more you purposely practice this, the more it will come naturally. Remember those early days of your relationship? You didn’t sit together silently staring at the TV did you?
- Personal Down Time - Be sure to include some personal down time in your weekly schedule so that you can reboot and continue the hard work of achieving your dream. Even if it’s just a couple of hours on the front porch on Sunday reading a book.
Whether it’s just you and your romantic partner, or you’re apart of a family of 8, start implementing these strategies now so that you can create the time and habits that will get you to the freedom you are craving with your relationships intact!
Carrie Powell is leading overwhelmed women who want to transform their homes, habits, and happiness into organized bliss at
Her Organized Inspired Life.com. Click here to receive her FREE ebook: Organize My Life-Week 1-The Dumping Ground.
