The first time we saw a Chinese toddler poop on the street through a slit in the back of his pants, it gave us a little shock. Then we realized none of these toddlers wear diapers, and they all run around with their buns to the sun. They alert their parents when they need to go, and they are patiently held up while they do their business, getting a quick swipe with a moist towelette afterward so they can get on with the business of playing.
You would think in a country of 1.3 billion people, this toddler public pooping situation would get out of hand. But it is precisely because of the population it doesn’t. You see, China does not have a workforce problem. There are people who work at bus stops to keep passengers in line, crews who remove rocks and debris by hand from construction zones, and even people who sweep the same section of street every single day, keeping the public safe from toddler poop.
The solution works for them, and it means less damage to the environment from a mountain of disposable diapers. What first shocked us eventually made perfect sense.
It isn’t our way, but it is a way that works for them.
In Amsterdam, we learned about the prostitution industry and their legal recognition and protections. We saw the women working in windows under the red lights (or blue lights, if you’re looking for something a little different) from morning to night, and we marveled at the openness of it all. Men openly bought sex for lunch from women who willingly sold it without fear of physical harm or being ripped off. The industry is regulated, taxed, and as generic as getting a haircut. At least from the outside.
While it can be shocking at first to see people trading money for sex in the cold light of day, the civility and regulation of the whole thing makes it almost mundane. It is an honest way to earn a living, perhaps the most honest way when you think about it.
It isn’t our way, but it is a way that works for them.
Mongolian nomads live in circular, felt-covered tents called gers. They move 2-4 times a year to graze their livestock, and outside of the cities there is no real restriction on where they set up house. They are surprisingly well-suited to this life, creating makeshift showers, outdoor bathrooms, and even electricity to run their televisions and lights with solar panels and car batteries.
At first we couldn’t imagine living full-time in a tent, but then we stayed in a few, marveling at the perfection of the construction over centuries of ger living. When compared to the conventional buildings we’ve seen and stayed in during our time in Mongolia, the ones with cold floors, leaking roofs, and on muddy roads, these clean white gers on grassy plains are the obvious choice.
It isn’t our way, but it is a way that works for them.
Weird is a State of Mind
How boring would our lives be if we were all held to the same rules, the same solutions, and the same lifestyles?
You may think your way is the right way, but so does everyone else.
How could you be so wasteful as to use disposable diapers, let your prostitutes face physical danger every day, or tie yourself down to a concrete building so far away from nature?
People are wondering how you do such weird things.
So instead of focusing on your differences and how to ‘fix’ them, look for the ingenious solutions, alternate mindsets, and different goals. You’ll develop a greater understanding of the other people with whom you share this planet, but you’ll learn even more about yourself.
And if you can accept the quirks and weird things in everyone else, you’ll have no problem at all accepting them in yourself.
That’s how dreams become reality.
Is your goal in life a little unusual? Learn how to withstand the peer pressure while you make it happen in our book, Dream Save Do: An Action Plan for Dreamers.
About Betsy
What a lovely recognition and perfect way to showcase it! I love your posts - but this one was an instant favorite! Now if we could just go that one little step further and say “I can’t see the rationale behind WHY it is their way, but if it works for them I’m all for it!” Hmmmm
Hi, Dixie. The first step is the most important: simply realizing that we have different needs, goals, and environments. And once you accept that, it makes it easier to just nod your head when people do weird things and say, “I can see how that might work for you.” And then happily go about doing things your way as they do things theirs.
‘…look for the ingenious solutions, alternate mindsets, and different goals.’
This might be my new mantra! Thanks!
Great use of Warren’s image, BTW:-)
Tara, you are great at making lemonade out of lemons, and this is just a slight deviation from that skill. (And thank you again for the fun photo shoot - these are my favorite pics of Warren ever…and I have thousands!)
Very nicely say Betsy, I love your posts. It’s so true that when you accept the weird things in everyone else, you’ll accept them in yourself. I think the other way around works also!
Hi, Eve. It’s a live and let live kind of philosophy around here. (Because if you’re too focused on what everyone else is doing, it’s kinda hard to live your best life, isn’t it?) Thanks for your kind words, Eve.
We are all weird and wonderful. And we have much to learn from one another. As long as we don’t use judgement on other cultures, better to be amazed at all our different ways.
Karen, you nailed it. Think of all the ways we could better ourselves (individually and as a society) if we sought to understand instead of judge what is different?
Lately we have been dealing with our overspending and how it directly is and has over the last 6 months kept us from continuing on our dreams. I have a copy of your Dream Save Do and have read it 3 times.
Although we had saved, purged, and sold all of our belongings again you can get lazy, or at least we have. So we have a new goal of becoming debt free completely while living abroad.
Two times before we have saved and done some amazing things but never attacked our student loans, now we have decided that getting rid of them and then to begin working on our home mortgage (we currently rent out our home). This way we can do some great things with our money.
We plan on doing all of this while we continue our dream of living abroad in Mexico. This does mean that we will have to be stationary more than we probably wanted, but not having to give up our dream 100% is worth the sacrifice of more nights at the zocalo and less in restaurants. I think the important thing to look at is that getting from A to B is not a linear line and actually the easier more happier route is probably a jagged back and forth path. I look at traditional ways that other people plan on getting ahead and it will take years if not decades for them to get to B because they aren’t willing to get creative. Dream Save Do is a great guide to getting creative and staying on course.
Here’s to getting things done along a different path. Salud!
p.s. Our son was potty trained in China, best decision ever.
Hi, Paz. This is what I love so much about going after your dreams: the realization that there will *always* be reasons not to and roadblocks in the way, and it takes a creative and motivated approach to keep moving forward. You guys are doing a great job of adjusting your life to capture your dream, and you’re smart to eliminate the debt standing in your way.
We started house sitting as a way to see the more expensive parts of the world we couldn’t afford on our budget. A woman once criticized this approach, saying we were “cheating” by partly financing our dream through this work-for-lodging agreement. I’m not sure how she came to this result, but it did highlight to me that some people believe there is only one way of doing things. That’s simply not true, and you are often only limited by your imagination.
So what if you have a few less nights out to eat so you can pay off your debt? YOU’RE STILL LIVING IN PARADISE, Paz.
The perfect way to reach your dream is any damn way you can get there, right? Good luck!
I have often joked that I might have to “go on the streets” to realise the dream and now, thanks to this post, I can do so legally and guilt free! Thanks guys.