Photo by Alison Cornford-Matheson
At the risk of sounding like the charismatic leader of a religious cult (still on my bucket list, by the way), I’m going to advocate something new the next time you have a significant decision or opportunity in front of you.
Think about what we would do with the same decision in front of us. Yes, you read it correctly. When wondering how to make a decision ask yourself,
“What would Warren and Betsy do?”
Take yourself completely out of the equation and imagine us telling you about the opportunity and our decision and how it was going to impact our lives. Think about us telling you in person, or you reading it some day on the blog. How would you react? Would you wish you could do it, too?
I’m not advocating this because I’m vain (though I am vain). I’m advocating this because people are already doing it and telling us how it helped them get out of their own way and make big decisions. This strategy works.
The most recent story was a Canadian woman who was presented with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to relocate from North America to Europe while she was on an extended vacation, but she had to give her answer quickly. Her first thought (which she admitted to us later): “What would Warren and Betsy do?”
When she told us we laughed, because it is a story we are hearing more and more. And hey, we are more than happy to be the stand-in characters for your decision-making process, believe me. It is a really effective strategy to take yourself out of the moment and visualize as a bystander because you can see so many more options (and realistic problems) this way.
This woman took herself out of the equation and imagined what someone else would do - someone she admired because of a particular personality trait she wanted to develop (in this case, our comfort with environmental change).
She’s now living the expat life in a beautiful village and running her small business over the internet. Little does she know we’re going to pop in and see her one day. Hope she has a spare bedroom.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in ourselves and how a decision would negatively impact us, or the logistical considerations, that we completely overlook all the benefits or spend our times worrying about freakish possibilities that would never really happen. We let our fears get in the way, real and imagined. We think about how it would affect everyone around us, and we extrapolate the decision out over the years, as if we can predict the future. Sometimes we forget who we have become and instead try to make the decision based on who we used to be.
What started out as a simple opportunity is now a possibility burdened by liability, probability, and history. You can see why it would be too exhausting to even contemplate a decision after piling all that crap on top of such a brilliant opportunity.
Placing yourself outside the decision-making process and allowing someone else evaluate the opportunity can give you the perspective you need to make a good decision. It removes the baggage of your history, current circumstances, and expectations.
It doesn’t mean you’ll always do what you think we’d do, but it does mean you’ll start to look at the opportunities in front of you in a clearer, bolder way.
Just know that if you tell us about it we might show up on your doorstep to help you celebrate. (Don’t worry; we won’t show up empty-handed.)
Do you know someone struggling with a big decision? Share this article with them. Who knows, they might just envision you as their ideal problem solver!
About Betsy
What a great post…WWWBD…I love it! You guys are so creative
Maybe that’s the first time I’ve heard WWWBD but I’m starting to think perhaps we do it subconsciously with other people all the time. Case in point..I have an aunt who has been a career diplomat for almost 4 decades. She’s single, no kids, an awesome job and I’ve always felt a bit envious of her because she has been all around the world and (IMHO) has lived “the life”. Last year, when I mentioned my husband and I were going to South America, she said..”oh, that’s one place I’ve never been”. I was floored..she’s never been?? She could have gone (vacation?) but I suppose her high-ranking job took her to EVERY other place on the globe and it never occurred to her. Well, guess what…I just heard she’s going to Brazil (on business of course) and I wonder if she in part made it happen because of our conversation…okay, at least I like to think so.
Love this! Great advice and I know I also tend to get caught up in our own little bubble, it is good to get your head out and get a different view. We might have to implement that more…WWWB Do? I know we have admired your decision making process for a long time and have been in awe of your ability to be so clear and concise….something we are still working on!
If you make bracelets I think they should be rainbow…just sayin!
Rainbow bracelets - I love it! Yes, I think getting out of your own head is key. Warren’s background is in product marketing, and I know he has learned to put his own opinions to the side and really evaluate the market - he says the biggest mistake you can make is thinking everyone is like you and create a product for yourself. We’ve extrapolated that in our lives to learn to look at things objectively (mostly) to make our decisions and get out of our own way. A shortcut to this method is just to pretend someone else is making the decision.
And why not let us make all your decisions for you?
Betsy,
At first when i read this i though HUH? But then i tried it in my head and it actually worked. LOL. I think it works because as Paz mentioned, “it is good to get your head out and get a different view”.
Alternatively, i have used a different method since a young age. I ask myself, what would my aunt NOT do. We all have someone in our lives who tends to be overly practical and a nay sayer (I love my aunt don’t get me wrong) but whatever she sais in my head i do the opposite it’s gotten me quite far in life believe it or not.
I think it works because i feel like i’m subconsciously pissing her off. That makes me kind of evil and a contrarian doesn’t it?
Thanks Annie for sending me the link to this site. This is definitely right up my alley. Being married with luggage is definitely better than being married with debt.
John, it is wonderful to have you here. Sounds like you have an interesting story and helpful advice for so many people who are in debt. It is so liberating when you pay it off completely and can start anew, following your dreams without owing others for the opportunity. Congrats on the progress and for putting the information out there to help others.
Annie, we love you BECAUSE you are evil and contrarian, not in spite of it. Your point is spot on. By identifying a person you can judge a decision by (either for or against) you can more easily see the benefits or risks. It will also help you to push outside your comfort zone, even if it is to piss off the person you are comparing yourself against.
Great perspective and we cannot wait to see what else your aunt wouldn’t do.
Thanks for the warm welcome, Warren!
Prior to being aware of this most wonderful WWWBD concept, I always thought, “What would my 65 year old self say to my 39 year old self?” It is strange how we have to trust another version of ourselves or an entirely different person(s) to make the best decisions for ourselves — but hell, whatever it takes to live the best life — I am ALL for it.
I also perhaps to be off topic but maybe still on topic — wonder — how the hell did we get to the point where we are actually unable to make the best decisions for ourselves?! Like seriously, how? If you think of it from an evolutionary perspective (and trust me this will be my only sentence on the topic) what the hell is the evolutionary advantage of the majority of humanity living a half-assed life? Is mother nature trying to do us in? Who could blame her really?
How much of this halfed-assness is the imperfection of humans? How much of it is our upbringing? How much of it is something totally else? I am guessing it is all three plus a lot more but I do have to say, I cringe a bit every time a child is making a decision that in the grand scheme of things is totally fine and the parents instead of seeing it that way are constantly telling them ‘no’ or telling them ‘you don’t want to do that’. Further every time I hear a parent say, ‘I want my kid to be this, this or this.’ and then pushes that on the kid, I feel like that kid is just one foot deeper in the hole of struggling with decisions that are so clear to everyone but themselves.