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The Best Advice You Ever Received (or, How The Matrix Changed My Life)

Press escape on your life | Follow your dreams | world travel

Confession time: I’m a huge fan of the movie, The Matrix. If you’ve been reading for a while you know this, and today I’m going to share with you why. Perhaps you have a book or movie or event that revealed the best advice or deepest learning in your life, and I’d love to discuss it with you in the comments below.

A Personal Matrix

I’m trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You’re the one that has to walk through it. ~ Morpheus

The Matrix was released in 1999, a time of great questioning in my life. I’d been going along to get along for a decade, and I was finally discovering the price of making life easy.

Life became incredibly hard.

Everything I was supposed to want was suffocating me, and I couldn’t understand why. I had been trying to live my life according to a plan on paper. My Matrix was a false reality of my own creation, a way to set boundaries and controls when I felt powerless and scared by outside forces. It eased the angst in the moment, but hiding it behind a pretty veneer allowed it to fester and build over time in secret until it exploded in just about the messiest way possible over my entire life.

The message in the movie of waking up to the real world – even when it wasn’t as pretty as the manufactured one – set my heart racing. The main character, Neo, is searching for The Matrix. He doesn’t know what it is, only that it is out there. He looks for clues all around him, and he searches for the elusive Morpheus, whom he thinks can give him the answers.

The movie starts when Morpheus finds him. And now that the answers are at his fingertips, Neo isn’t quite sure what to do next. What happens when the answers you seek are made available to you, but there’s a certain amount of discomfort and pain to get to them? Neo struggled with this realization, and so did I.

Would I be strong enough to stand the discomfort of change in my life? Is “real” better than “easy?” Now that the idea was in front of me, could I let it go even if I wanted to? My mind was racing, and I wanted to stand up in the theater and shout to everyone around me, “Let’s all take the red pill!”

Yeah, a crazy-feeling moment for sure. Thankfully, I kept it together and didn’t get thrown out.

Divorce, a cross-country move, a career change, a financial hit – these were the actions and results I was contemplating as my “red pill.” Even though those things scared the hell out of me, they were still more appealing than the everyday life I was living.

Perhaps you can relate?

Facing Reality & Finding Mentors

Neo: Why do my eyes hurt?

Morpheus: You’ve never used them before.

This new view of life is a lot like going to the gym after 10 years of inactivity. You don’t realize just how out of shape you are until you try to go on your first hike or take an exercise class. You’re going to feel that effort for the next several days with every move you make.

There was soreness from flexing muscles that had never been used before. I began running every activity, relationship, and purchase through a filter: Is this what I really want, or am I just doing it because I’ve always done it?

In the movie Neo could learn new skills just by plugging in to a program, but real life is more complex. It means rethinking your old assumptions, taking an active role in improving your life, and making plenty of mistakes along the way.

Lucky for me, I had a Morpheus to lead me out of the Matrix and into reality. Pat, an older woman I met through a conference at my job, took me under her wing and called me every single day as I transitioned into my new life. We called it “board meeting,” and it became a lifeline for me. 

If I hadn’t shared with her my epiphany about life and what I was thinking of doing, I’m not sure I would have had the nerve to do it. This is why it is so important to seek out new people in your life. They are more readily able to see you as you are and what you want to be than the people you’ve had at your side for years. They are not overly burdened by history and expectation, and by association they teach you not to be, either.

The New Normal

Neo: What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets?
Morpheus: No, Neo. I’m trying to tell you that when you’re ready, you won’t have to.

The freedom to be me was intoxicating, and even though I got drunk on it a few times, it finally evened out. It became the status quo instead of a wild Saturday night feeling I couldn’t quite control.

I didn’t have the answers, not by a long shot. And after a while I figured out that was the point. When you have everything mapped out and know the answers, you aren’t allowing for growth, experience, and change. It seems like a better way to live until you actually try to live it.

I became comfortable with the unknown, with stepping into new experiences, and with trusting my instincts and experience. In short, I became the self-assured, direct, and adventurous woman I always dreamed of.

  • I found Warren after this shift in reality, helped in large part by finally realizing what I wanted in a mate…and having the confidence to say it out loud.
  • My career took off when I stopped comparing myself to everyone else and just did my best work.
  • I took a red velvet rope approach to allowing new friends into my life, and as a consequence my relationships were deeper and more fulfilling.

Once I started creating a life to fit me instead of trying to fit into another life, I stopped being unhappy. And even though The Matrix didn’t solve any of my problems, I am forever thankful to it for speaking to me when I was ready to hear the message. It woke me up so I could solve those problems myself.

The teacher appears when the student is ready. 

Not everyone will get the same insight out of a post-apocalyptic shoot-em-up. Hell, if I saw the movie for the first time today it probably wouldn’t affect me the same. But the combination of timing + need + message is a powerful one, and you can be just as moved to change by a book, a song, or even a television commercial.

It could be zombies, puppies, a history book, or even a quirky commercial on television.

When you’re ready to hear it, you’re going to find the message. The trick is to pair it with action to create the life of your dreams.

What has been the unconventional source of the best advice in your life? Tell me about it in the comments.

Learning to speak up and fly my own freak flag has transformed my life. If you’re struggling with being the people pleaser, putting everyone else’s needs above your own, or just not giving yourself the time to even know what you want, I can help. Click here to figure out what you’ve got standing in the way of your shine. (Oh, and don’t forget to check out the video at the end where I shaved my head!)

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About Betsy

Betsy Talbot can't live without a Moleskine notebook, her passport, and happy hour. She sold everything she owned to travel the world with her husband Warren in 2010, and she's been enjoying her midlife crisis ever since. Betsy writes about creating the life you want from the life you already have in her books and on the Married with Luggage website. Drop her an email at btalbot (at) marriedwithluggage (dot) com and check out her Google+ page.

Comments

  1. Oh my gosh!

    I thought I was the only person who found profound meaning behind those exchanges in The Matrix. All of those were so fitting. I remember getting chills hearing them.

    When I was ready to meet my husband, I started doing a lot of self-introspection into how I could be the mate that I wanted my partner to be. In reading and learning about myself, I strengthened all of my other relationships. One book in particular, as schmarmy as it may seem, was Calling in The One. I didn’t even use the principles for finding a husband- I used them for strengthening my relationships with my family and friends… and when the right guy came along, I was already metnailly ready to accept the relationship and be a good partner to him. :)

    • Hi, Rita Marie. You sound like quite the catch! You’re smart to realize that the best way to attract great people into your life is to be the kind of person you want in the first place. Easy to say, not so easy to do. Congrats to you for doing the work (and getting the prize).

    • Thanks for reminding me about this book. I’ve been wanting to read it for all the reasons you’ve mentioned.

  2. Oh my gosh!

    I thought I was the only person who found profound meaning behind those exchanges in The Matrix. All of those were so fitting. I remember getting chills hearing them.

    When I was ready to meet my husband, I started doing a lot of self-introspection into how I could be the mate that I wanted my partner to be. In reading and learning about myself, I strengthened all of my other relationships. One book in particular, as schmarmy as it may seem, was Calling in The One. I didn’t even use the principles for finding a husband- I used them for strengthening my relationships with my family and friends… and when the right guy came along, I was already metnailly ready to accept the relationship and be a good partner to him. :)

    • Hi, Rita Marie. You sound like quite the catch! You’re smart to realize that the best way to attract great people into your life is to be the kind of person you want in the first place. Easy to say, not so easy to do. Congrats to you for doing the work (and getting the prize).

    • Thanks for reminding me about this book. I’ve been wanting to read it for all the reasons you’ve mentioned.

  3. Great to see a post like this! I’m also a huge Matrix buff and have repeatedly taken leaves out of its book about being honest with yourself.

  4. Great to see a post like this! I’m also a huge Matrix buff and have repeatedly taken leaves out of its book about being honest with yourself.

  5. This movie always reminds me of our first Sociology lecture take the pill and you will never see life around you the same and it sure changed mine

    • Hi, MichEle. You definitely have to be ready to have your eyes opened because it’s not always easy to realize these things about your reality and your role in creating it. And you can’t “undo” this learning once you embark on it. Sociology is fascinating because we can learn so much about ourselves from studying our surroundings and group behavior. I’d love to see the world through your eyes for just a day!

  6. This movie always reminds me of our first Sociology lecture take the pill and you will never see life around you the same and it sure changed mine

    • Hi, MichEle. You definitely have to be ready to have your eyes opened because it’s not always easy to realize these things about your reality and your role in creating it. And you can’t “undo” this learning once you embark on it. Sociology is fascinating because we can learn so much about ourselves from studying our surroundings and group behavior. I’d love to see the world through your eyes for just a day!

  7. Betsy! This is such a great post :) My husband and I really love The Matrix and it’s message! It is interesting because I loved the movie back in 1999 even though I was probably too young to know what the message was. But now, as an adult living an intentional life in the ”real” world I hear it loud and clear! Quotes from the movie echo in my head all the time ” You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.” Is a big one that always hits home when I think of those people who think the way we are living is foolish or irresponsible in order to justify it to themselves (because they believe there are rules that you are supposed to be following, and we ”break” those rules). One of your quotes from Morpheus “I can only show you the door you must walk through it” is another favorite. We can tell people up and down and backwards and forwards that you have to take 100% responsibility for your own life, cause no one is going to make your dreams come true for you..and that’s what he is saying ”here is the answer you, but you have to do the work”. p.s. we are a nomadic couple and have only three movies downloaded on our computer and The Matrix is one of them ;)

    • Hi, Kathleen. I’ve seen the movie about 20 times now and can quote almost all of it. When I’m feeling down or sick Warren always queues it up on the laptop for me because he knows it will make me feel better! :)

      I love that you pointed out the “work” aspect. It’s not enough to have the lightning bolt of insight or the inspiration. You have to pair it with action and sweat to make it happen. The harder you work, the luckier you get!

      Enjoy your travels (and repeated viewings of The Matrix!).

  8. Betsy! This is such a great post :) My husband and I really love The Matrix and it’s message! It is interesting because I loved the movie back in 1999 even though I was probably too young to know what the message was. But now, as an adult living an intentional life in the ”real” world I hear it loud and clear! Quotes from the movie echo in my head all the time ” You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.” Is a big one that always hits home when I think of those people who think the way we are living is foolish or irresponsible in order to justify it to themselves (because they believe there are rules that you are supposed to be following, and we ”break” those rules). One of your quotes from Morpheus “I can only show you the door you must walk through it” is another favorite. We can tell people up and down and backwards and forwards that you have to take 100% responsibility for your own life, cause no one is going to make your dreams come true for you..and that’s what he is saying ”here is the answer you, but you have to do the work”. p.s. we are a nomadic couple and have only three movies downloaded on our computer and The Matrix is one of them ;)

    • Hi, Kathleen. I’ve seen the movie about 20 times now and can quote almost all of it. When I’m feeling down or sick Warren always queues it up on the laptop for me because he knows it will make me feel better! :)

      I love that you pointed out the “work” aspect. It’s not enough to have the lightning bolt of insight or the inspiration. You have to pair it with action and sweat to make it happen. The harder you work, the luckier you get!

      Enjoy your travels (and repeated viewings of The Matrix!).

  9. I love the Matrix as well. For several years after it was released if people I worked with had a question about it I was the go to source for answers. I still love it and am psyched because next month the SF Symphony is going to perform the soundtrack as they run the movie. Very excited to see it on a big screen, it’s been way too long!

    • Oh man, I’m sad to miss this, ShellY! The soundtrack to the movie is incredible – it always sends chills up my spine. To hear it live by a symphony would be incredible. Have a great time!

  10. I love the Matrix as well. For several years after it was released if people I worked with had a question about it I was the go to source for answers. I still love it and am psyched because next month the SF Symphony is going to perform the soundtrack as they run the movie. Very excited to see it on a big screen, it’s been way too long!

    • Oh man, I’m sad to miss this, ShellY! The soundtrack to the movie is incredible – it always sends chills up my spine. To hear it live by a symphony would be incredible. Have a great time!

  11. When I first read this line it rang true to exactly what I was feeling. It’s from “Eat, Pray Love”. The line was in the movie a little differently but it spoke to how I’ve been feeling.

    “I had actively participated in every moment of the creation of this life-so why did I feel like none of it resembled me? Why do I feel so overwhelmed with duty, tired of being the primary breadwinner and the housekeeper” My duty isn’t taking care of a husband but other family members.

    “I didn’t want to destroy anything or anybody. I just wanted to slip quietly out the back door, without causing any fuss or consequences, and then not stop running until I reached Greenland.” I’m still working on not doing this part.

    But I felt like she was in my head and admitting it to myself was putting me in the direction I needed to go. Still working on some things but for me that line started it.

    • Hi, Bisa. Isn’t that the toughest realization, that you’ve worked so hard to create a life that doesn’t fit? Elizabeth Gilbert has a way with words, with showing how people (and especially women) work harder to nurture others than they do themselves. It’s a big wake-up call.

      I’m excited to see how your transformation unfolds, Bisa. You are well on your way!

      (Duh, I logged in as Warren instead of me…this is from Betsy and even though I can change the name I can’t change the pic)

  12. When I first read this line it rang true to exactly what I was feeling. It’s from “Eat, Pray Love”. The line was in the movie a little differently but it spoke to how I’ve been feeling.

    “I had actively participated in every moment of the creation of this life-so why did I feel like none of it resembled me? Why do I feel so overwhelmed with duty, tired of being the primary breadwinner and the housekeeper” My duty isn’t taking care of a husband but other family members.

    “I didn’t want to destroy anything or anybody. I just wanted to slip quietly out the back door, without causing any fuss or consequences, and then not stop running until I reached Greenland.” I’m still working on not doing this part.

    But I felt like she was in my head and admitting it to myself was putting me in the direction I needed to go. Still working on some things but for me that line started it.

    • Hi, Bisa. Isn’t that the toughest realization, that you’ve worked so hard to create a life that doesn’t fit? Elizabeth Gilbert has a way with words, with showing how people (and especially women) work harder to nurture others than they do themselves. It’s a big wake-up call.

      I’m excited to see how your transformation unfolds, Bisa. You are well on your way!

      (Duh, I logged in as Warren instead of me…this is from Betsy and even though I can change the name I can’t change the pic)

  13. Just love the Matrix. For years the phrase that stuck with my hubby and I was “There is no spoon.” For us, that meant reality was a matter of perspective. Do we look at things from the half-full or half-empty, or from the it’s a blessing or a curse perspective? How we view everything greatly colors what we believe is possible. Thanks for more great food for thought!

    • Hi, Kim. My favorite line from the movie is one that I didn’t mention…it’s near the beginning when Trinity is running from the agents and rolls down a flight of stairs. She’s waiting for them to appear while laying on her back and aiming for the top of the stairs. She’s says to herself, “Get up, Trinity. Just get up. Get up!” I love that line and the visual…when you get knocked down, you have to get right back up!

      (Again, this is Betsy incorrectly logged in as Warren. First mistake of the day and surely not the last!)

  14. Just love the Matrix. For years the phrase that stuck with my hubby and I was “There is no spoon.” For us, that meant reality was a matter of perspective. Do we look at things from the half-full or half-empty, or from the it’s a blessing or a curse perspective? How we view everything greatly colors what we believe is possible. Thanks for more great food for thought!

    • Hi, Kim. My favorite line from the movie is one that I didn’t mention…it’s near the beginning when Trinity is running from the agents and rolls down a flight of stairs. She’s waiting for them to appear while laying on her back and aiming for the top of the stairs. She’s says to herself, “Get up, Trinity. Just get up. Get up!” I love that line and the visual…when you get knocked down, you have to get right back up!

      (Again, this is Betsy incorrectly logged in as Warren. First mistake of the day and surely not the last!)

  15. My most defining movie for me at the time was “Life or Something Like it”. It just spoke to me about just living your life and forgetting to be perfect or what other see you as. Yes it is an Angelina Jolie movie but, heck I am a fan.

    • That’s a good one, Rebecca! I remember that movie (mainly because I’ve had a long-time crush on Ed Burns). “Forgetting to be perfect” is a great mantra for a happy life!

  16. My most defining movie for me at the time was “Life or Something Like it”. It just spoke to me about just living your life and forgetting to be perfect or what other see you as. Yes it is an Angelina Jolie movie but, heck I am a fan.

    • That’s a good one, Rebecca! I remember that movie (mainly because I’ve had a long-time crush on Ed Burns). “Forgetting to be perfect” is a great mantra for a happy life!

  17. Margit Crane says:

    “Don’t hide your light under a bushel” – I got that from GODSPELL. Of course, those who know me, know that I’m Jewish, but I was completely blown away by that musical. I felt like I had found my tribe. Not Christians but people who loved each other immensely, dressed in awesome clothes, and lived life their own way.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doSC1G8pmlE

    • Margit, what great advice to follow! I have not seen that musical, but now it’s on my list. And I think you’ve taken that advice very, very well. :)

  18. Margit Crane says:

    “Don’t hide your light under a bushel” – I got that from GODSPELL. Of course, those who know me, know that I’m Jewish, but I was completely blown away by that musical. I felt like I had found my tribe. Not Christians but people who loved each other immensely, dressed in awesome clothes, and lived life their own way.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doSC1G8pmlE

    • Margit, what great advice to follow! I have not seen that musical, but now it’s on my list. And I think you’ve taken that advice very, very well. :)

  19. Hi Betsy-
    I’m thinking I’ll have to rewatch “The Matrix”.

    One of my life changing moments came just after being hired to work for author, Robert Fritz. I was 10 years into a relationship during which I was angry most of the time, and I had come to the realization that we could not afford for me to not work full time. I had just finished reading Robert’s best seller “Path of Least Resistance” to learn about his work before starting there.

    A close friend had died a year earlier, and I had spent a lot of time that year thinking about my life. I was driving around this afternoon in April around the anniversary of her death, and a line from the book came to mind “If you accept your life just as it is, do you want to live that way for the rest of your life?” I realized that the answer was a clear and emphatic “NO!” That was when my marriage ended. Sure there was lots of messy stuff afterwards, but it was so important for me to make that change for myself.

    That was 12 years ago, and I am still working towards a life that suits me, but I get closer every day.

    • Lisa, that’s a powerful statement. And it’s interesting that you read it before but didn’t get the power of it until your anniversary drive. We absorb this meaningful advice and inspiration all the time, but it’s not until we’re ready and open to learn the lesson that it becomes the “aha” moment. Thank you for sharing this very personal story. Now I’m going to have to read Fritz’s book!

  20. Hi Betsy-
    I’m thinking I’ll have to rewatch “The Matrix”.

    One of my life changing moments came just after being hired to work for author, Robert Fritz. I was 10 years into a relationship during which I was angry most of the time, and I had come to the realization that we could not afford for me to not work full time. I had just finished reading Robert’s best seller “Path of Least Resistance” to learn about his work before starting there.

    A close friend had died a year earlier, and I had spent a lot of time that year thinking about my life. I was driving around this afternoon in April around the anniversary of her death, and a line from the book came to mind “If you accept your life just as it is, do you want to live that way for the rest of your life?” I realized that the answer was a clear and emphatic “NO!” That was when my marriage ended. Sure there was lots of messy stuff afterwards, but it was so important for me to make that change for myself.

    That was 12 years ago, and I am still working towards a life that suits me, but I get closer every day.

    • Lisa, that’s a powerful statement. And it’s interesting that you read it before but didn’t get the power of it until your anniversary drive. We absorb this meaningful advice and inspiration all the time, but it’s not until we’re ready and open to learn the lesson that it becomes the “aha” moment. Thank you for sharing this very personal story. Now I’m going to have to read Fritz’s book!

  21. Oh sigh – I am so NOT glamorous (LOL). The first movie that made an enormous impact on me was Pollyanna with Hayley Mills. It was my first inkling that how I decided to react would have something to do with how life went. It also had me looking for other evidence of this. I was 9 years old when I saw that movie (I’m pretty sure) and I couldn’t figure out what I should do to implement her philosophy of ‘glad.’ I remember deciding to make it a habit to smile – regardless of what was going on and by god…things began to seem funnier and happier…I thought god spoke to me herself when I read Victor Frankl in high school…thanks for the post and the weekly Sunday thoughts.

    • Pollyanna also had a big impact on me as a child, showing there was a positive way to look at things. Another early influence was the book, Anne of Green Gables. Although part of Anne wanted to fit in, her strong personality kept her on her own unique path. A Course in Miracles is a present-day influence, teaching that every action is either sharing love or a cry for love. It reminds me to be gentle both with myself and others.

      • Oh yes Anne Shirley! Was there a movie?

      • Hi, Carol. Being gentle is something we more easily do for others than ourselves, so I’m glad you reminded us of the importance of self-care. What a great piece of advice! I think it might be time to reread Anne of Green Gables. Thanks for the nudge.

    • Oh, I love me another Pollyanna! Lori, it’s such a powerful transformation to simply choose to see the world in its best light. Critics will say that you’re just covering up/ignoring the bad, but I think what you focus on is what your life becomes. And happiness is not a bad goal in life.

      Waiter, can we have a round of “glad” for everyone, please? Lori’s buying. :)

  22. Oh sigh – I am so NOT glamorous (LOL). The first movie that made an enormous impact on me was Pollyanna with Hayley Mills. It was my first inkling that how I decided to react would have something to do with how life went. It also had me looking for other evidence of this. I was 9 years old when I saw that movie (I’m pretty sure) and I couldn’t figure out what I should do to implement her philosophy of ‘glad.’ I remember deciding to make it a habit to smile – regardless of what was going on and by god…things began to seem funnier and happier…I thought god spoke to me herself when I read Victor Frankl in high school…thanks for the post and the weekly Sunday thoughts.

    • Pollyanna also had a big impact on me as a child, showing there was a positive way to look at things. Another early influence was the book, Anne of Green Gables. Although part of Anne wanted to fit in, her strong personality kept her on her own unique path. A Course in Miracles is a present-day influence, teaching that every action is either sharing love or a cry for love. It reminds me to be gentle both with myself and others.

      • Oh yes Anne Shirley! Was there a movie?

      • Hi, Carol. Being gentle is something we more easily do for others than ourselves, so I’m glad you reminded us of the importance of self-care. What a great piece of advice! I think it might be time to reread Anne of Green Gables. Thanks for the nudge.

    • Oh, I love me another Pollyanna! Lori, it’s such a powerful transformation to simply choose to see the world in its best light. Critics will say that you’re just covering up/ignoring the bad, but I think what you focus on is what your life becomes. And happiness is not a bad goal in life.

      Waiter, can we have a round of “glad” for everyone, please? Lori’s buying. :)

  23. I remember talking to my fiancé Jess about this exact scene and explaining how my life changed once I started questioning everything, resetting my life and simplifying/minimalising everything so i could regain my focus on what was important to me.

    • Hi, Mark. It’s the questioning that’s key, isn’t it? I LOVE this strategy for everything in life, whether it’s figuring out what Warren and I are really fighting about in an argument to why I really like or don’t like something. Questioning is a powerful personal growth tool.

      Maybe we should set up a Google + Hangout so we can all watch The Matrix together and live chat in between handfuls of popcorn.

  24. I remember talking to my fiancé Jess about this exact scene and explaining how my life changed once I started questioning everything, resetting my life and simplifying/minimalising everything so i could regain my focus on what was important to me.

    • Hi, Mark. It’s the questioning that’s key, isn’t it? I LOVE this strategy for everything in life, whether it’s figuring out what Warren and I are really fighting about in an argument to why I really like or don’t like something. Questioning is a powerful personal growth tool.

      Maybe we should set up a Google + Hangout so we can all watch The Matrix together and live chat in between handfuls of popcorn.

  25. Great insights on finding yourself and getting clear on what makes you thrive. Loved the Matrix video clips and quotes. And now have added Calling in the One to my reading list because I’m ready for that after a two-year time out of soul searching and healing. Betsy, I love the work you and Warren are doing.

    I would love to have you guest post anything you’d like such as this piece about getting it together following a midlife crisis/transition at Midlife Mona Lisa. You rock! Keep inspiring others. You do me.

    • Hi, Brenda. I’ve not heard of Calling in the One, but it sounds like 2 years off to heal and make yourself happy first is the foundation to finding a great mate. When you’re happy and confident it’s far easier to attract a mate with similar attributes.

      I love the name of your website – very witty! I’ll email you when I finish my current batch of writing projects. :)

  26. Great insights on finding yourself and getting clear on what makes you thrive. Loved the Matrix video clips and quotes. And now have added Calling in the One to my reading list because I’m ready for that after a two-year time out of soul searching and healing. Betsy, I love the work you and Warren are doing.

    I would love to have you guest post anything you’d like such as this piece about getting it together following a midlife crisis/transition at Midlife Mona Lisa. You rock! Keep inspiring others. You do me.

    • Hi, Brenda. I’ve not heard of Calling in the One, but it sounds like 2 years off to heal and make yourself happy first is the foundation to finding a great mate. When you’re happy and confident it’s far easier to attract a mate with similar attributes.

      I love the name of your website – very witty! I’ll email you when I finish my current batch of writing projects. :)

  27. Betsy, you hit the nail on the head several times in this post. One of my favorite sentences, “…real life is more complex. It means rethinking your old assumptions, taking an active role in improving your life, and making plenty of mistakes along the way.” Kudos!

    • Hi, Maria. You and Mark are on the same wavelength. It’s that repeated questioning, getting to know yourself inside and out, that gets you on the path that’s right for you. It’s like an awkward first date with yourself – necessary to make it into a relationship!

    • I too really enjoyed the “rethinking your assumptions” line.

  28. Betsy, you hit the nail on the head several times in this post. One of my favorite sentences, “…real life is more complex. It means rethinking your old assumptions, taking an active role in improving your life, and making plenty of mistakes along the way.” Kudos!

    • Hi, Maria. You and Mark are on the same wavelength. It’s that repeated questioning, getting to know yourself inside and out, that gets you on the path that’s right for you. It’s like an awkward first date with yourself – necessary to make it into a relationship!

    • I too really enjoyed the “rethinking your assumptions” line.

  29. Hi Betsy, I’ve been meaning to read this post for a while. When I saw the title flash past me weeks ago I was intrigued.

    I must say, after reading your post you liked the movie for different reasons than me. It sounds like the film came out at a great time in your life?!

    For me, I think it’s one of the most profound movies (if not the most) there is. I know the message of Samsara etc has been told for thousands of years, but I would argue not to so many people so effectively! And there’s some fun style to boot! Pitty about the sequels.

    I’m getting through your Dream Save Do book at the moment, great read.

    Cheers, awesome bananas,

    Andy.

    • Hi, Andy. I’m with you on the sequels, though I did have a bit of a debate about this with some gentlemen I met at a wedding this weekend who LIKE Reloaded and Revolutions. I just can’t go there, myself.

      So glad you’re enjoying Dream Save Do and would appreciate an Amazon review when you’re done: http://www.marriedwithluggage.com/reviews/

      Awesome bananas. I’ll have to remember that one.

x

Warren & Betsy laughing togetherTake the first step

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